A Good Use of Time and Grammar by President Bush

W says, "I ain't nothing but a hound dog."
Unfortunately, I didn't make this up either...

PRESIDENT BUSH: First of all, the Prime Minister and I would like to thank Priscilla and Lisa for their gracious hospitality. And we thank the Graceland staff, as well, for arranging this unusual experience. First of all, my presence here shows it's never too late to come to Graceland. Laura and I are -- we've known Elvis Presley since we were growing up. He's obviously a major part of our music history. He had an international reputation. His reputation was so strong that he attracted the attention of the now Prime Minister of Japan.
I was hoping the Prime Minister would want to come to Graceland. I knew he loved Elvis -- I didn't realize how much he loved Elvis. He not only knows Elvis' history, he can sing a pretty good Elvis song. This visit here shows that not only am I personally fond of the Prime Minister, but the ties between our peoples are very strong, as well.
And so, again, to the Presleys, thank you all. And Mr. Prime Minister, glad you joined us. Want to say a few comments?
PRIME MINISTER KOIZUMI: It's like a dream. I never expected President come with me to visit Graceland. There's Elvis song: To Dream Impossible. (Singing Elvis song.) (Laughter.) My dream came true. Thank you very much for -- thank you. Thank you very much for treating me nice, the Elvis song. (Singing Elvis song.) Thank you.
PRESIDENT BUSH: We're going to go have some barbeque, thank you.

Nice Elvis glasses, Mr. Prime Minister....

The Number One Sign of Our Country's Decay and Eventual Downfall is...

The Washington National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., of course. Let me start at the beginning. Daryl and I are planning a trip to D.C. sometime in August. I know, I know...I was just there with the kiddies, but Daryl has never been. I figured I would use my free trip from the school to kind of scope out where we would most like to go on our vacation.
Well, when I was there with the kids, we drove by the National Cathedral. It is beautiful, so I thought maybe it would be cool to take a tour of the cathedral when Daryl and I visit in August. So, that brings me to today and my current freak out. I was online looking for information about the Cathedral and I discovered something VERY disturbing. I'll just allow you to guess at what it is, but no worries...I'll give you some hints.
First hint: Whoever runs the cathedral decided it would be a good idea to have a contest and let someone design something to be carved, yes CARVED, into the cathedral....
Second hint: The carving is kind of a gargoyle, but it is of a famous movie icon.
Go ahead...guess....what might they have decided to carve into the National Cathedral...an symbol of all that is pure and holy in our nation's capitol?
Did you guess Darth Vader??? You're right! Ok. Now you have to click here to go see it. Can you even believe this crap?
I'm not even making this up. It's on the National Cathedral's website and everything. I guess they had a contest and some twerp who wanted Darth Vader in there won. Ug.

Has This Ever Happened to You?

From the Detroit Free Press:

Motorist finds dead man under vehicle
June 22, 2006
By JOE SWICKARD
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
A motorist who pulled into a service station in Lincoln Park early Thursday morning found a dead man wedged beneath her vehicle.“The driver pulled into the station at Outer Driver and I-75 about 1 a.m. because she had trouble steering and there was a body underneath,” Lincoln Park Police Lt. Robert Steele said.The investigation was turned over to Detroit Police because the incident is believed to have happened in the city, Steele said.The Detroit Police Fatal Squad is investigating, but the public information office said that no details were available.Steele said the young driver, who was not identified, may have run over the man while he was lying in the street near Schaefer and Annabelle in Detroit. It is not known if the man was already dead when the driver ran over him.

North Korea's Missiles

I just wanted to get the facts straight on this whole thing with North Korea and their missile(s). So, like any good researcher, I came up with some questions and tried to answer them using the news resources available on the web.
#1 How far can the Taepodong 2 travel?

• BBC says, "Alaska or Hawaii is within its reach and even the continental US if a lighter warhead were used."
• "Experts estimate it could potentially hit the mainland United States with a small payload. However, the missile is unlikely to be accurate."
• They actually have a lot more of these other missiles called Nodong missiles. "As many as 200 Nodong missiles are in North Korea's arsenal. With a range of about 620 miles, Japan is their most likely target."
  #2 Will they actually test the missile?
• "White House national security adviser Stephen Hadley told reporters it remained uncertain if North Korea actually planned to conduct a test-firing of the missile."
• They have done it before: "North Korea shocked the world in 1998 when it fired a missile, part of which flew over Japan and landed in the Pacific Ocean."
  #3 What can the US do to defend itself against North Korean missile attacks?
  The Good News:
• The United States has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on missile defense systems during the past few decades.
• AP says, "In Washington, a top Pentagon official said Thursday that a North Korean missile launch would be 'a provocation and a dangerous action' that would lead to the United States imposing 'some cost' on North Korea."
• "U.S. defense officials in Washington on Tuesday said the United States has activated its ground-based interceptor missile-defence system."

The Bad News:

• BBC says, "It is likely that the US has activated its still unproven and limited anti-missile defence systemhas which has so far failed to intercept a single missile in recent tests."
• BBC also says, "The US appears to be relying more on the hope that North Korea is bluffing."
• AP says, "U.S. missile-defense system under development has 'limited operational capability' to protect against weapons such as the long-range missile
  North Korea is said to be near firing."
• "The way out of this is for North Korea to decide not to test this missile," Hadley said.

Don't worry; South Korea plans to help:

• "South Korea, which has been slow to criticize North Korea in the past, has also threatened to withhold rice and fertilizer aid if a test goes ahead."
  

A little background on North Korea's leader, Kim Jong Il. Time magazine says about him: " Evil? Yes. Genius? No." Many people must be jealous of this...wouldn't we all like to be evil non-geniuses?

Some of his accomplishments:
"Architect of a catastrophic famine that has killed hundreds of thousands—maybe millions—of his subjects since 1995."
"Virtuoso skills on the Internet" (Although none of North Korea's citizens are allowed to look at the internet.)
"Prone to egregious lapses of judgment, especially in a crunch. That is what makes the present crisis so very scary: not the high caliber of America's adversary, but precisely the opposite."
"Kim is said to be a film fan, owning a collection of some 20,000 video tapes, which Kim himself denies. In 1978, on the orders of Kim, the South Korean film director Shin Sang-ok and his actress wife Choe Eun-hui were kidnapped in order to build a North Korean film industry."
"He reportedly enjoys following National Basketball Association games. Madeleine Albright ended her summit with Kim by presenting him with a basketball signed by Michael Jordan."
"He sometimes wears lifts and platform shoes (he is 5 feet, 3 inches tall)."
"Kim is reported to have fathered thirteen illegitimate children."
"Before 1995, Kim Jong-il was frequently accused of dishonesty, drunkenness, sexual excess of various kinds and even insanity, particularly in the South Korean press."

So...knowing all of this, let me remind you of the United State's number one defense against this guy, "We don't know exactly what North Korea has in mind. ... We don't know what's under the nose cone of that missile, just for starters. I think it's appropriate to say ... 'don't go there,'" says U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton. Yeah, don't go there you platform shoe wearing, drunken, video loving, crazy guy. Just don't go there.

School's Done; Lots O Fun

La la la... Well, I have one week of my very own, to spend however I like. Daryl is in Georgia learning how to get more information out of me, and I still have one week until I start taking my classes. So, I've been to the dentist, Target, and the pool today. The dentist found a cavity in my very way back wisdom tooth. She said, "I'm willing to give it a whirl," which means that my mouth is really gonna hurt from stretching it wide open on Thursday which is when I will be having my cavity filled. She doesn't really like it when I get cavities on my wisdom teeth.

I have a pool pass now. In fact, I just got back from swimming. That pool is pretty nice..it's an outdoor pool. It only has one lap lane though...so, I was swimming with this 15 or 16 year old kid. He wasn't doing too well...I was kicking his ass, in fact, because he really couldn't even make it a length. Too bad for him. Then, these little kids came in the lap lane and were like...I'm gonna swim laps. Then the lifeguard yelled at them, but they were like, no, I'm gonna swim laps. And they did swim one. Then they got out. That was good. I was afraid that if they kept coming in the lap lane, I wouldn't see them and then WHAM! Like a cannonball to the gut, I would hit them. Luckily, they got back on their side. Then, when I stopped to rest once this kid came over and was like, Are you on a swim team? A long time ago I was, I told him. Why don't you swim over here? And he pointed to the all-kid-screamy area. Over there? Cause it's too wavy and there would be a bunch of people in my way. Then, the 15 year old...trying to hit on me I think...said Nice excuse....big smile. I'm thinking, It's not an excuse...it's the truth. It is too wavy.

Now, I will make myself a giant yogurt smoothie with extra berries and walnuts because that is what I want to eat whilst I watch Dr. Phil.

I Must Be Out of My MInd

People often comment to me that teachers are overpaid. I get the summer off you know. Well, let me tell you, I disagree. I want to offer up some proof of why we teachers are paid exactly what we should be (if not a little less). Exhibit A: Footage of the high school that I teach at. I need to let you know that this was filmed at 7:00 IN THE MORNING. If this happens at your work at 7:00 in the morning, please, let me know.
What's more, many portions of this footage were filmed right outside my classroom door while I was trying to grade some essays.

Mucho Better

I feel much better today. In celebration of my new found happiness, I give you Six Foot Leaping Hare on Steel Pyramid by Barry Flanagan. It may be dangerous for me to look at the 20th Century Art Book too often. I'm starting to wonder if I'm in the wrong profession altogether.
Good songs to make you feel happy that are also about rabbits:
Song A
Song B
Song C
Song D
Well, those may only be "good" songs if you're on some kind of drugs. I like Song C the best, but that's just my personal opinion. Actually, it may also be Barkley's favorite. And Elsie's too.

My Very Bad Mood

Do you ever feel like the whole world has bad karma and it's making a gicky feeling in your stomach? I do. Right now. I hate feeling gicky, but right now there is no other way to feel. I have made a list of songs to suit my gicky mood. I'm not giving them away ahead of time, so you will need to click them if you care...

Oh, also it took me about two minutes to find good paintings to put on here to go with my mood. I have a 20th Century Art Book, and anytime you wanna feel real depressed you can just look through it. It's just a book of depression, that's all. I mean, if you're in a good mood, don't read it at all cause it'll bring you right down, but if you're in a bad mood then it's ready and waiting to come right along with you. The first painting is Black Painting No. 34 by Ad Reinhardt. See, that's part of what makes looking that the 20th Century Art book depressing. You look at these paintings and realize some idiot got paid a lot of money to paint this piece of garbage. The book says Reinhardt "believed that it was impossible to represent the idea of an actual object on canvas." So, apparently what he decided to do was become a painter, you know because...I don't know. The saddest part...oh, yeah, there's a sadder part...do you realize that this is number 34? 34 of these stupid black paintings. Who picked this one? How is this one possibly better than number 30? Or 5?

The second piece here is called The Ribbon of Extremes and it's by Yves Tanguy. Right away I like Yves a little better because at least he put some thought into this. At least there's junk melting all over. I like that a little bit.

Now for the music:

Song A

Song B

Song C

Song D

And, of course, what would Drew and Mike play? What else?

Song E

Ok. That's enough.

Our Nation's Capitol

Well, I survived the trip with the kids to Washington, D.C. I was thinking that I was pretty odd because my favorite place of all was Arlington Cemetery because it was so pretty. Then, I was talking to my grandma, and her favorite place is Arlington, too. I guess we're weird together.

We saw so much stuff....way too much if you ask me...in three days. The first day for me was a bust because I pretty much always have a headache the minute I get off of a plane, and this trip was no different. But nevertheless, we drove by a bunch of embassies. Then, we went to union station to eat lunch. The kids were thrilled because it's like a mall and they got to go shopping. (Cuz that's why we traveled all those miles.)

Then, we went to the capitol, but one of the kids in my group had a severe asthma attack. I was really scary and I had to wait with her outside while everyone got a tour of the capitol. That was okay though. It just scared me half to death because I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance for her. She had left her inhaler on the bus, which was about 20 blocks away. So, the principal and another chaperone ran back to get it while she got worse and worse. I know, know....Why, when you're asthmatic, would you leave your inhaler behind. I was asking myself the same thing. Anyways, she couldn't wait for them to get back and I was just about ready to call for help when this random lady stopped and asked if she needed an inhaler. I immediately pictured myself in court proceedings being sued for letting her use a medicine not prescribed to her. But, before I could say anything, the girl grabbed the inhaler and used it. I have to say that the woman did look businessy and clean cut... And the alternative, well, that wasn't too appealing either. Apparently most inhalers have pretty much the same medication in them, so it turned out to be okay. Then, she was better.
Aw...I'll just show you the pictures I took of the rest of it. I'm too lazy to type about the whole trip.

Oh Yeah, All Right

Daryl says....
I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
and eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
Who is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket
I want a girl who gets up early (gets up early)
I want a girl who stays up late (stays up late)
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity (uninterrupted)
Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
She is fast, thorough and sharp as a tack
She is touring the facility and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long long jacket
I want a girl with a smooth liquidation (smooth liquidation)
I want a girl with good dividends (good dividends)
At Citibank we will meet accidentally (meet accidentally)
We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen
She wants a car with a cupholder armrest
She wants a car that will get her there
She's changing her name from "Kitty" to "Karen"
She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket

Mutt March

Here's a message from Barkley: Aba Aba Bark Bark

Would You Like Cheese With That?

Stop looking at me...
Fri May 26, 3:16 PM ET
BERLIN (Reuters) - A swan has fallen in love with a plastic swan-shaped paddle boat on a pond in the German town of Muenster and has spent the past three weeks flirting with the vessel five times its size, a sailing instructor said Friday.
Peter Overschmidt, who operates a sailing school and rents the two-seat paddle boat on the Aasee pond, said the black swan with a bright red beak has not left the white swan boat's side since it flew in one day in early May.
"It seems like he's fallen in love," said Overschmidt. "He protects it, sits next to it all the time and chases away any sail boats that get anywhere nearby. He thinks the boat is a strong and attractive swan."
Overschmidt said the swan will figure it out sooner or later but hopes he won't be too heartbroken.
"I'll wish him all the best and hope that he doesn't make the same mistake again," said Overschmidt."

In other news, we are going to install a giant dragon in the backyard. I can only hope that it will rival grandma Burray's lawn animals...

I Rock

My paper is done. Finito. And I'm done with that class. Just two more to go before I earn my black belt in teaching and curriculum. My paper ended up being 10 pages....here's the kicker...single spaced. Now, I've been up for too many nights with very little sleep and it feels like little tiny spears are poking through the back of my eyeballs. Plus, I don't make any sense when I talk (or probably when I write either). So, sorry.

Procrastination

pro·cras·ti·nate (pr-krst-nt, pr-) v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates v. intr.
To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.v. tr.
To postpone or delay needlessly.

Oh. I have a paper to write. It is technically due tomorrow. I needs to be 12 pages long at a minimum. Oh. I hate writing papers so much. I hate, hate, hate it.
It is 11:26 am on Sunday. I am still in my pajamas. Things that I have done today:
1. Made coffee.
2. Drank coffee.
3. Made a bowl of cereal.
4. Ate cereal.
5. Washed my face.
6. Let Barkley out.
7. Watched the CBS Sunday Morning Show *my absolute fav*
8. Sat at the computer drinking more coffee doing this.
9. Looked up car harnesses for dogs on the internet because I think I want to get one for Barkley since she slammed her face into the window in the car yesterday while I was stopping abruptly.
9. Measured a flailing Barkley who acts like a fish out of water when you try to measure her to see what size car harness to buy.

Reasons why I probably will be up until midnight, go to sleep for two hours, wake back up and then finish my paper:
1. I am planning to go to the pet store directly after my shower. Barkley is out of biscuits, which is a catastrophe.
2. I am planning to take a nap sometime today. After everything I've done so far, I'm getting kind of tired PLUS I need to prepare for the fact that I will be up late tonight without much sleep.
3. I have to go find a birthday present for my grandpa.
4. I have to go to my grandpa's birthday dinner.
5. I have to plan what I will do in all three of my classes that I teach tomorrow. Yikes. Does anyone want to develop a lesson on the Harlem Renaissance for me?? Tale of Two Cities? 8th grade poetry?? Hm... Yeah, I need to fit that in somehow. Ohh...how about silent reading? That's great.

As I see things, this does not leave much time for writing papers.

Top Ten Reasons We Need Another Dog

1. Barkley needs a friend.
2. There is still a little more room in the bed.
3. Dogs make you happy.
4. There can never be too many tails.
5. We don't yet have a pet need Bubba, and I think that needs to change.
6. It's almost the same as grandchildren (right, Moms?)
7. My car slumps to one side with just Barkley and me in it...I need to even that out.
8. Deters burglars.
9. Barkley has extra dog food.
10. Gizmo likes dogs.

So, what do you think? Ginger???

Or Naya??

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Over my spring break, I read and watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. I was interested to read Breakfast at Tiffany's since I had just finished In Cold Blood, which is also by Truman Capote.
I love Capote's style of writing in both books, but the subject matter differs so immensely that it is hard to tell they were written by the same guy.
Let me just say that the novel (actually more of a novella) is awesome. I just loved the description and felt a love/hate relationship with the main character, Holly Golightly, immediately. You just have to love to hate her by the end of the novel.
Don't even get me started on the movie. Luckily, I saw that AFTER I read the book. Obviously, it made me want to put on sunglasses, pearls, and a little black dress so that I could go walking around downtown looking like Audrey Hepburn. But, that was the best part. The filmmaker totally ruined the ending, and I can see why Capote was furious. I would be too if someone did that to my book. Audrey Hepburn is just so perfect and cute though...it may be worth watching just to see her.

News From Last Night

Brian and Angela tied the knot.















Chip likes to look like he is going to lick people.

I do not think this is okay.

Daryl is growing a mustache!

My dad and brother have joined a gang.

We left the wedding before my grandparents did.

What is Happening to Me?

Today I was driving to work and I had to come to a conclusion that I didn't like. I was enjoying listening to a song by the Barenaked Ladies. I cranked up "Pinch Me" and sang at the top of my lungs so that all the other drivers on I-94 would look at me weird (which they did). Then, my exit came, the song ended, I had to see that guy that stands at the top of my exit ramp with his giant sign that says he's a disabled vet and that no, your money won't go for drugs or alcohol. For God's sake. Why couldn't the song last a little longer?
Here's the rub. I've always loathed BNL (aside from "If I had a Million Dollars"). Maybe it's because of the one guy's voice or the fact that they have a song called "Be My Yoko Ono," which runs into a whole other topic of things I don't like. What's going on here? Why the sudden change? Will it be like in college when I hated, hated, hated Our Lady Peace and then decided to go buy their CD? Hm...
Here's the BNL lyrics that I sang the loudest to:
On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I packed the car and leave this town
Will you notice that I'm not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'underwear'
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway.
It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
realize that a guy my size might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.

I have another conundrum. I was listening to "My Humps" on the way home from class. Why can't I turn that song off? It's degrading, derogatory, and dumb. The three D's. But I sing to that too. The best line is, "What you gon' do wit all that breast? All that breast inside that shirt?" What kind of a question is that?? If you have never read the lyrics to "My Humps," you must. It's an experience you must have before you die. And you can help me figure out why I don't turn off the song.

Ha Ha....Do you want to hear the karaoke version???

Since I'm putting on all these song links, here's one for Holly.

Funny

This is a video called "Free Photo Booth." It is very funny. Clicking on the link will take you to a Google video site.

Sometimes I Feel I've Got to Run Away...

I need to be rescued from the horrible music. I'm sorry but "Tainted Love" is a classic that should not be messed with. What is this? Stop it.
Oh, now that I'm online looking for the song, I've found that it's been copied several times. Soft Cell, I don't care how poor you are. Stop licensing your song to crappy artists!

The Original

The Craptastic Version

Marilyn Manson??

The Living End (Who I love, but should not be redoing this song either)

AHHHHH!!! I Didn't Even KNOW About THIS ONE. This MIGHT be worse than Rihanna's version

I have to picture Kelly being sung to by Tom N. up at MSU when I hear the real version of the song. "Don't touch me please; I cannot stand the way you tease..." Ha ha ha.