The Best Christmast Present Ever?

When I was done giving birth, Daryl decided I had earned myself a Jacuzzi tub. He made secret plans to get me one for Christmas. However, it turns out that I have an until now untapped psychic sense about secret Christmas plans. I jokingly asked if I was going to get a Jacuzzi tub for Christmas and because of Daryl's inability to lie to me with a straight face, I found out about the plan. Turns out that jacuzzi tubs are a little pricey and the installation is a lot pricey, so I might have to have a few more kids before I truly earn a jacuzzi tub. Sad, sad.

So, this morning I get up and Daryl says, "I have a really good idea for a combined Christmas gift that I can get and we can afford...it will be for both of us and it's a really, really good idea." I asked what his idea was, but he said that it would be a surprise. Hm.... I reluctantly agreed. I mean, this was the guy that was planning the jacuzzi tub, so it had to be something good...right?

Wrong. Later on Daryl was going on and on about going out and getting firewood from the gardening center near our house. You see, they run an advertisement that crawls along the bottom of the Weather Channel's Local on the 8's, which I watch at night a lot while I'm feeding Duncan because there's nothing else on. Daryl sees the advertisement and is reminded about the firewood, so every day he's been talking about having a fire in the fireplace. Just to make conversation, I said, "Yeah, we still need to get one of those glass doors for the fireplace." We talked about getting one last winter, but we never did because you have to special order them and we just didn't have that kind of energy. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I saw the look on Daryl's face and knew that this was the big surprise Christmas present he had in mind. What? What? What?? This is soooo not in the same league as a jacuzzi tub. I told him that I would not enjoy fireplace doors as my Christmas present. Then, maybe because I'm sleep deprived or maybe because I'm a jerk, I told him that if he had gone ahead and gotten me fireplace doors for Christmas, it would have been worse than when my dad got my mom canning equipment for Christmas. Daryl disagreed, but then I offered to call up any of my girlfriends because I knew that they would tell Daryl on speakerphone that fireplace glass doors is not a good Christmas present ever. Luckily, we didn't have to go there.

Here is a list of other things that I don't want for Christmas ever:
Canning equipment, a garage door, new windows, a couch, potted plants, a new kitchen sink, a new driveway, a mailbox, recessed lighting, a dishwasher, a refrigerator, actually any standard appliance...

Ug.