All My Children

I have many children, and much like the the old woman who lived in the shoe, I oftentimes do not know what to do. Getting rid of any of my children is not an option as all of them are unique and therefore very special to me. Here is a list of my children and their unique attributes:



Official Name: Duncan
Nickname: Chunky Man
Favorite Food: Breast milk
Calming Influence: Rocking and lullabies
Daily motivator: Eating
Favorite pastimes: Sticking his tongue out at Daddy, taking baths
Best friend: Barkley




Official Name: Barkley
Nickname: The police
Favorite Food: Bunny Surprise
Calming Influence: None
Daily motivator: Chasing squirrels, policing the house
Favorite pastimes: Watching Animal Planet
Favorite noise: The kitchen timer at grandma's house
Best friend: Sweetums



Official Name: Sweetums
Nickname: Sweety Sweetums
Favorite Food: Bananas
Calming Influence: Going upside down in someone's lap
Daily motivator: Laying by the heat vent
Favorite pastimes: Seeing if she can jump in the bed without getting kicked out
Least favorite noise: Opening garbage bags
Best friend: Barkley



Official Name: Gizmo
Nickname: Fatso
Favorite Food: Doritos, potato chips
Calming Influence: Being in her cat carrier
Daily motivator: Eating
Favorite pastimes: Eating
Favorite noise: The opening of the food cupboard
Best friend: Jenny Craig



Official Name: Daryl
Nickname: D
Favorite Food: His mom's macaroni and cheese
Calming Influence: Ice cream
Daily motivator: Watching sports
Favorite pastimes: Building fires, sticking his tongue out at Duncan
Favorite noise: Farts
Best friend: Scrabulous

My favorite 80s Music Videos

I love the 80s...but more than that, I love the music videos from the 80s. Have you seen today's videos? No? I'm not surprised. As far as I know MTV doesn't even play music videos anymore. I'm not sure how that happened, but honestly, it was a good decision. I mean, I would much rather watch The Hills than a crummy video by Fergie or some other such nastiness.

Who doesn't love this video? You gotta love the lady's 80s hair..and the synthesizer.


Sting...all crazy hair and cello.


Love this one too...another great keyboard synth. More cello too. While I was looking for this one on YouTube, I saw this comment underneath it...don't know what it means, but I like it.

"I, as a gipsy singer from a diffent music style and from different music markets,can say that this video is fantastic, different and so it is successfull as it caught the differency and a good synthesis in music. congractulations. best wishes. cansever"

Best wishes to you too, Cansever.



This video would have made the list even if the ONLY thing it featured was the tambourine player chick. How awesome is her outfit? Blonde waitresses take their trays...They spin around and they cross the floor
They've got the moves (oh whey oh)...You drop your drink then they bring you more...
Where are all the cops??

The Best Christmast Present Ever?

When I was done giving birth, Daryl decided I had earned myself a Jacuzzi tub. He made secret plans to get me one for Christmas. However, it turns out that I have an until now untapped psychic sense about secret Christmas plans. I jokingly asked if I was going to get a Jacuzzi tub for Christmas and because of Daryl's inability to lie to me with a straight face, I found out about the plan. Turns out that jacuzzi tubs are a little pricey and the installation is a lot pricey, so I might have to have a few more kids before I truly earn a jacuzzi tub. Sad, sad.

So, this morning I get up and Daryl says, "I have a really good idea for a combined Christmas gift that I can get and we can afford...it will be for both of us and it's a really, really good idea." I asked what his idea was, but he said that it would be a surprise. Hm.... I reluctantly agreed. I mean, this was the guy that was planning the jacuzzi tub, so it had to be something good...right?

Wrong. Later on Daryl was going on and on about going out and getting firewood from the gardening center near our house. You see, they run an advertisement that crawls along the bottom of the Weather Channel's Local on the 8's, which I watch at night a lot while I'm feeding Duncan because there's nothing else on. Daryl sees the advertisement and is reminded about the firewood, so every day he's been talking about having a fire in the fireplace. Just to make conversation, I said, "Yeah, we still need to get one of those glass doors for the fireplace." We talked about getting one last winter, but we never did because you have to special order them and we just didn't have that kind of energy. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I saw the look on Daryl's face and knew that this was the big surprise Christmas present he had in mind. What? What? What?? This is soooo not in the same league as a jacuzzi tub. I told him that I would not enjoy fireplace doors as my Christmas present. Then, maybe because I'm sleep deprived or maybe because I'm a jerk, I told him that if he had gone ahead and gotten me fireplace doors for Christmas, it would have been worse than when my dad got my mom canning equipment for Christmas. Daryl disagreed, but then I offered to call up any of my girlfriends because I knew that they would tell Daryl on speakerphone that fireplace glass doors is not a good Christmas present ever. Luckily, we didn't have to go there.

Here is a list of other things that I don't want for Christmas ever:
Canning equipment, a garage door, new windows, a couch, potted plants, a new kitchen sink, a new driveway, a mailbox, recessed lighting, a dishwasher, a refrigerator, actually any standard appliance...

Ug.

Milk Factory

Many people comment on how frequently Duncan eats. Like Daryl said yesterday, "You don't get that chunky by not eating." True dat.

I wonder if he will start giving it a rest anytime soon. I've found that pretty much the only thing I can get done while he's eating some good, quality TV watching. I mean, I've watched just about everything there is to watch on TV. I've caught this week's episode of The Hills at least three times. (Do you think Heidi and Spencer are going to break up? Uh, drama!) Thank the good Lord for DVR...otherwise I'd be going crazy having to watch the stupid, stupid stuff on daytime TV. By the way, who thought it would be a good idea to let Drew Carey host The Price is Right? I feel like the poor man is doing community service or something....he seems to loathe the contestants, the prizes...all of it. Not Bob. Bob was always sincerely happy to be there; although, I do think that he thought of all the contestants as peons whilst he was king of the castle. Maybe that's the attitude Drew Carey needs to adopt.

Anyways, the problem comes when the only thing left on the DVR is Intervention and I've run out of things to watch. Let's face it. Intervention is a good show, but I can only watch someone shoot up with heroin if I'm in the right mood. Then, if they don't get better at the treatment center at the end, I'm totally depressed. Why do I have like 6 episodes of Intervention saved and nothing else? Because I used up all my Reno 911s earlier in the day and Sam the Cooking Guy doesn't come on until Tuesday. THat's why.

Last night was brutal. We don't have a DVR in the bedroom, and it was 5 am, so I was not about to go out to the living room. So, I'm stuck with regular live TV. Not to worry, I thought. I'll watch the morning news and laugh at the traffic report like I've done every morning. (I can laugh because I'm not about to drive anywhere at 5 in the morning...haha.) BUT, I forgot it was Saturday (see, that's what happens when you stop going to work). There is no news on at 5 am on Saturday. However, I was able to see how clean the STEAM SHARK can get your floors. Sparkling!!! I can see how people can be convinced to buy those things at 5 am. I mean, you're just not in your right mind and you're thinking...Oh my gosh...the steamer pad is machine washable...Right ON!!

If only I could read one handed....then I would be all set. I find it difficult to hold the book close enough to me and not smush Duncan underneath it though. Plus, turning the pages with one hand is no fun.

December is Better Without Work

I like not going to work. Don't you? I don't miss the traffic, my friend at the top of the off ramp with his "I'm hungry" sign, the complaints from sleep-deprived teenagers, grading essays, any of it, really....

I thought I might get bored, but I'm not yet. Duncan fills my day with diaper changes, feedings, baths, and the occasional crying fit. Even when he spits up all over me, it's hard not to smile and be happy because at least I'm not at work. Don't get me wrong, I like my job and all....it's just nice to do something else for a while.

What I like best is that my life is finally simple. Yesterday's goal was to eat something good for dinner. A few days before that, I wanted to make cookies. Check and check. I feel so accomplished. This week I want to do an hour or two of Christmas shopping and clean out the maternity clothes from my closet. I know these don't sound like very lofty goals, but I really do have to plan my whole day around them. I'm telling you...making the cookies took some strategic planning.

Now, I don't have much more to say here, so here is the slide show that I made of Duncan. (It has several surprises, so watch carefully.)