No Wonder I Feel LIke a Troll

Have you seen this video?
Model makeover
You have to click play video.
This is quite distubing and bizarre. Do you think they do this to every picture in magazines, etc?

About This Weekend

I was going to call this blog "Fun Things About This Weekend," but then I realized that fun is in the eye of the beholder.

1. Daryl was home.
2. The time change (very awesome).
3. I got a new coat for my birthday.
4. We got a new rake (not for my birthday, but just in general).
5. I had the best waitress ever at Max & Erma's.
6. Sweetums learned to 'hump'. Is there a better word for this? Sorry to be offensive, but it is what it is.
7. There was a guy sitting in his car outside our house putting on makeup for about 15 minutes. He appeared to be neither gay nor a clown. Weird.
8. I made chip dip and it was so good with my chips.
9. I went to Borders and spent my gift certificate. Bookstores make me happy.
10. Barkley and Sweetums got to play with Elsie, Pepper, and Jazzy all in one weekend.
11. Uncle Tom was in the Free Press. Look at his picture:

More Tigers...

What can I say? I'm just so excited about the Tigers. Ok. Not so excited that I had to buy an AL Champs shirt at JC Penney's when I was there on Sunday like the mobs of other people. No, I'm not that person.
How cool is Detroit? Well, it turns out that besides all the crack houses and burnt out buildings in complete disrepair, actually pretty cool. Signs that Detroit is cooler than all other cities:

1. Kid Rock gave an impromptu performance when the Tigers won.(Click here to see.)
2. There is a new Tigers' song. (Well, isn't there always...some joker has to make one.)
3. Well, we have Pudge. Say no more.

Go Tigers!

Congratulations Tigers! ALCS Champs! To the WORLD SERIES!!!
(Also, happy 100th blog to me.)

Go Detroit Tigers!

What a Good Book

I love reading. Right now I'm reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. (He writes like the Dickens...hahar har). Anyway, have you ever read this? I like it.
Not that I have a choice since I have to teach it this year, but it's good that I like it. I'm about two chapters ahead of the kids, so I'm as surprised as they are when something happens. They ask me, "Do you ever find out why such and so did that?" And I'm very clever; I say, "You'll have to wait and see." See, I have no idea really.
My lack of knowledge as far as classic literature goes is astonishing to me. You would think that I might have read some of this stuff in college. I've read Olaudo Equiano like four times (which I do teach in one class, so I guess that paid off), but I somehow never got to read other classics. Weird.

The Bat

I was alarmed when I checked my blog comments to see that someone was unfamiliar with The Bat.

AKA Pepper

She is a two ton package of muscle and pudge. She is as fast as a race car and as mean as a werewolf. She acquired the nickname The Bat from going up-side-down and sticking her ears back, looking much like a ferocious bat.

How We Spent Our Weekend

(Without pictures...sorry)

By Bat

Mom and Dad go on a smelly bus full of senior citizens to get a new supply of Jesus juice. Dad hold his AARP card up so lady will let him play bus BINGO.

Anyroo, we stay with crazy nieces Barkley and Sweetums. They play crazy and bite each other in the head all day long. Barkley, she lose her collar a lot. Why nont her big ears keep it on?

Cousin Daryl and Sandy Big Clunky I'm Late For Work Shoes are stingy with the cookies. We cry best we can, but only three or four cookies a day come offa the counter.

So Elsie, she cry real loud and them BAM....her tail busts open at the seam. It get all over the couch and she throw up orange stuff too. Now really no cookies.

Just in Time for the Play-Offs

I have carefully conducted a poll of over 100 people in my free time, and I am proud to present the 2006 Sandy Tiger-A-Thon Award Winners.

Here are the results...

Hottest jaw line.............Pudge

Player most likely to be a distant relative of mine.....Sean Casey

Player whose age will most surprise you.............Curtis Granderson (He's only 24)

Resident fattie (who by default hits awesome home runs)......Matt Stairs

Secret hottie........Brandon Inge (don't tell Daryl)

Cabbage Patch doll look-a-like.........Magglio Ordonez

Funniest name.........Jordan Tata

Most likely to think he's spotted a Chupacabra during practice.... Carlos Guillen

Most likely to charge out of the dugout much like a raging bull.....Pudge