Bonbini!

Bonbini means welcome if you're in Aruba. How do I know that? Well, I'm thinking about moving there. When Daryl initially asked me if I wanted to move to Aruba, I laughed. "Haha. You silly man. We can't move to Aruba. What would we do with our house, etc, etc?" So, Daryl did not put in for the job transfer to Aruba, but his friend Rich did. So, Rich is seriously moving to Aruba with his wife. They will live there for two to five years. Now that I know the deal, I'm working it all out in my head, and I pretty much think that we will be moving to Aruba the next time the opportunity presents itself. I am pretty darn sick of my job, so if I can move to Aruba and lay on the beach all day, so be it.
You know, this is the problem with my life. It is far too normal. I have always had everything nice and planned out. Of course, it has worked out well for me. But I think it's time to cut loose a little bit, you know, kick off my Sunday shoes. I think it's time to move to Aruba or some other tropical paradise.
When I started seriously considering Aruba, Daryl thought I was a little crazy, but I think he's just about ready to get on board. At first he said, "Won't you be bored in Aruba after a little while?" I said, "Well, I think they probably have a Barnes and Noble somewhere on that island and that solves all my troubles."
***I just sneezed about ten times and it's making me really mad because my nose is making it almost impossible to finish my blog.****
What's good about living in Aruba? Oh, lots of things. First, I could just take a sabbatical from my job probably and say sianara to all of that for a little while. Next, the government would pay all of our moving costs. Also, we would get a weekly allowance for food and housing. Now, the good thing is that the government doesn't give you what it costs to eat in Aruba....They give you enough to pay for what it costs to eat here, so you have tons of money left over. Lobster every night, baby. To top it all off, they would give Daryl extra vacations for "home leave" so that we could visit our loved ones whenever we wanted. Sounds good to me. Sign me up. So, who wants to come visit us in Aruba?

82 Degrees

Did you know that the average high in Cancun in February is 82 degrees? I do. How do I know? I know because I am obsessed with my upcoming trip to Mexico. I cannot wait to blow this popstand and get somewhere warm. Today I opened the back door to let Barkley out, and I said, "Gee, it feels pretty warm out." I actually said that. It was 37 degrees. So, yes, I need some help.
My other vacation for 2006 will be an all expense paid trip to Washington D.C. The airfare, lodging, transportation, and admission fees to wonderful sites are all included. Am I the lucky winner of a contest? I'm afraid I am not. It's called "8th Grade Class Trip." Thinking back to my own days in middle school, I remember going on two field trips. We went on a foreign excursion...to a fort in Canada, which was very boring. This was in 6th grade. Then, the biggie came in 7th grade. We took a two-parter, actually. One week we went to the waste water treatment plant, and the next week we went to the water clean-up facility. The first smelling much worse than the second. You could actually see the poo floating in the water. It was disgusting. After seeing the whole process, I can't say that I was excited to drink tap water anymore.
My trips don't even begin to rival my dad's middle school trip. They went to the sanitarium. Fun, fun.
So, I guess things could be a lot worse, but I'm not sure going to our nation's capitol with a throng of Polo-horse wearing, Evian drinking 13 year olds is going to be a joyride either. I'll let you know. Happy 2006 if I don't talk to you before then.

No One Ever Said It Would Be Easy

Well-
My big fat giant paper is due tomorrow. So, this is classic Sandy. I am such a procrastinator. My paper is called, "Reading Choice in the Middle School Classroom." I am thinking of changing it to "The Metacognitive Effects of Independently Read Texts in the Adolescent Learning Environment." What do you think? I am planning to talk about "standard deviation" and "n=" and all the other things that professors like. Before long, my coffee will wear off, and as usual I will wake up at 4:00 AM to finish my paper, go to work, edit after work, then send it in the email to my professor. Cuz that's how I roll.

New topic. My mom has made a hobby of posting fake Christmas gifts on her website. She picks out funny things for Paul, Daryl, and me. When she isn't busy finding and posting these ridiculous gifts, she spends her time asking me if I've checked to see my new gift yet. What she doesn't know is that I would actually use the gift that she has up right now so maybe it's not so funny. Here it is:
What she doesn't know is that I would not put the dog in it. I would put the cat in there and roll her around the neighborhood. I might put the horns on her too and maybe even wear horns myself. She would like that. Then, she would probably get home and bite me. Cuz that's how she rolls.

I have to tell you how this whole Christmas gift fiasco started. You see, it's been a favorite pastime for my mom and me to find the most hideous item in the weekly circulars and say, "That's what I'm getting you for _______." You can just fill in whatever the most appropriate holiday is in the blank there. Generally, there's good stuff in the jewelry section of the Sear's flyer. My mom has obviously taken this game to a whole new level though. So here....drum roll please.... is what I know my mom desperately desires to get for Christmas. You can bet your buttons that it will make it's way to her stocking on December 25.....

She has always wanted a "Kenneth" ID bracelet. Haven't you? Okay, okay. Time to get serious. What would mom really like to see in her stocking on Christmas Day? I'll give you one hint (okay.. a couple). She sees him every single night. He's a really good cook. He eats ham. He's really funny (to my mom at least).... Give up?


Alton Brown!!! Har har har....


Look how handsome. See the way his brow scrunches up? That's because he's so serious about food. I put his picture up REALLY LARGE for you, mom. When he's not wearing his super cool sexy shades, he has dork glasses. Sorry, mom, but he does. Here he is in his dork glasses. I don't know what the heck's wrong with the photo, but you can see his dork glasses, and that's all that matters. (Capital letter compound sentence comma conjunction end punctuation) I need to go write my paper now.

My Biggest Fear is Put to Rest

Ever since I was a freshman in high school, I have been terrified by opossums. I think I have mentioned them before. There is nothing good about them. They hiss, they are ugly, and they hiss. Like I mentioned in my blog before, my fear of opossums really took root when my dad told me that they would drop out of the trees as I was walking to high school in the black of night at 6:45 in the morning. My fears can now all go away. I have found out that opossums don't even hang by their tails! Check it out. They do, however have opposable thumbs. Who knew?