A Good Use of Time and Grammar by President Bush

W says, "I ain't nothing but a hound dog."
Unfortunately, I didn't make this up either...

PRESIDENT BUSH: First of all, the Prime Minister and I would like to thank Priscilla and Lisa for their gracious hospitality. And we thank the Graceland staff, as well, for arranging this unusual experience. First of all, my presence here shows it's never too late to come to Graceland. Laura and I are -- we've known Elvis Presley since we were growing up. He's obviously a major part of our music history. He had an international reputation. His reputation was so strong that he attracted the attention of the now Prime Minister of Japan.
I was hoping the Prime Minister would want to come to Graceland. I knew he loved Elvis -- I didn't realize how much he loved Elvis. He not only knows Elvis' history, he can sing a pretty good Elvis song. This visit here shows that not only am I personally fond of the Prime Minister, but the ties between our peoples are very strong, as well.
And so, again, to the Presleys, thank you all. And Mr. Prime Minister, glad you joined us. Want to say a few comments?
PRIME MINISTER KOIZUMI: It's like a dream. I never expected President come with me to visit Graceland. There's Elvis song: To Dream Impossible. (Singing Elvis song.) (Laughter.) My dream came true. Thank you very much for -- thank you. Thank you very much for treating me nice, the Elvis song. (Singing Elvis song.) Thank you.
PRESIDENT BUSH: We're going to go have some barbeque, thank you.

Nice Elvis glasses, Mr. Prime Minister....

The Number One Sign of Our Country's Decay and Eventual Downfall is...

The Washington National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., of course. Let me start at the beginning. Daryl and I are planning a trip to D.C. sometime in August. I know, I know...I was just there with the kiddies, but Daryl has never been. I figured I would use my free trip from the school to kind of scope out where we would most like to go on our vacation.
Well, when I was there with the kids, we drove by the National Cathedral. It is beautiful, so I thought maybe it would be cool to take a tour of the cathedral when Daryl and I visit in August. So, that brings me to today and my current freak out. I was online looking for information about the Cathedral and I discovered something VERY disturbing. I'll just allow you to guess at what it is, but no worries...I'll give you some hints.
First hint: Whoever runs the cathedral decided it would be a good idea to have a contest and let someone design something to be carved, yes CARVED, into the cathedral....
Second hint: The carving is kind of a gargoyle, but it is of a famous movie icon.
Go ahead...guess....what might they have decided to carve into the National Cathedral...an symbol of all that is pure and holy in our nation's capitol?
Did you guess Darth Vader??? You're right! Ok. Now you have to click here to go see it. Can you even believe this crap?
I'm not even making this up. It's on the National Cathedral's website and everything. I guess they had a contest and some twerp who wanted Darth Vader in there won. Ug.

Has This Ever Happened to You?

From the Detroit Free Press:

Motorist finds dead man under vehicle
June 22, 2006
By JOE SWICKARD
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
A motorist who pulled into a service station in Lincoln Park early Thursday morning found a dead man wedged beneath her vehicle.“The driver pulled into the station at Outer Driver and I-75 about 1 a.m. because she had trouble steering and there was a body underneath,” Lincoln Park Police Lt. Robert Steele said.The investigation was turned over to Detroit Police because the incident is believed to have happened in the city, Steele said.The Detroit Police Fatal Squad is investigating, but the public information office said that no details were available.Steele said the young driver, who was not identified, may have run over the man while he was lying in the street near Schaefer and Annabelle in Detroit. It is not known if the man was already dead when the driver ran over him.

North Korea's Missiles

I just wanted to get the facts straight on this whole thing with North Korea and their missile(s). So, like any good researcher, I came up with some questions and tried to answer them using the news resources available on the web.
#1 How far can the Taepodong 2 travel?

• BBC says, "Alaska or Hawaii is within its reach and even the continental US if a lighter warhead were used."
• "Experts estimate it could potentially hit the mainland United States with a small payload. However, the missile is unlikely to be accurate."
• They actually have a lot more of these other missiles called Nodong missiles. "As many as 200 Nodong missiles are in North Korea's arsenal. With a range of about 620 miles, Japan is their most likely target."
  #2 Will they actually test the missile?
• "White House national security adviser Stephen Hadley told reporters it remained uncertain if North Korea actually planned to conduct a test-firing of the missile."
• They have done it before: "North Korea shocked the world in 1998 when it fired a missile, part of which flew over Japan and landed in the Pacific Ocean."
  #3 What can the US do to defend itself against North Korean missile attacks?
  The Good News:
• The United States has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on missile defense systems during the past few decades.
• AP says, "In Washington, a top Pentagon official said Thursday that a North Korean missile launch would be 'a provocation and a dangerous action' that would lead to the United States imposing 'some cost' on North Korea."
• "U.S. defense officials in Washington on Tuesday said the United States has activated its ground-based interceptor missile-defence system."

The Bad News:

• BBC says, "It is likely that the US has activated its still unproven and limited anti-missile defence systemhas which has so far failed to intercept a single missile in recent tests."
• BBC also says, "The US appears to be relying more on the hope that North Korea is bluffing."
• AP says, "U.S. missile-defense system under development has 'limited operational capability' to protect against weapons such as the long-range missile
  North Korea is said to be near firing."
• "The way out of this is for North Korea to decide not to test this missile," Hadley said.

Don't worry; South Korea plans to help:

• "South Korea, which has been slow to criticize North Korea in the past, has also threatened to withhold rice and fertilizer aid if a test goes ahead."
  

A little background on North Korea's leader, Kim Jong Il. Time magazine says about him: " Evil? Yes. Genius? No." Many people must be jealous of this...wouldn't we all like to be evil non-geniuses?

Some of his accomplishments:
"Architect of a catastrophic famine that has killed hundreds of thousands—maybe millions—of his subjects since 1995."
"Virtuoso skills on the Internet" (Although none of North Korea's citizens are allowed to look at the internet.)
"Prone to egregious lapses of judgment, especially in a crunch. That is what makes the present crisis so very scary: not the high caliber of America's adversary, but precisely the opposite."
"Kim is said to be a film fan, owning a collection of some 20,000 video tapes, which Kim himself denies. In 1978, on the orders of Kim, the South Korean film director Shin Sang-ok and his actress wife Choe Eun-hui were kidnapped in order to build a North Korean film industry."
"He reportedly enjoys following National Basketball Association games. Madeleine Albright ended her summit with Kim by presenting him with a basketball signed by Michael Jordan."
"He sometimes wears lifts and platform shoes (he is 5 feet, 3 inches tall)."
"Kim is reported to have fathered thirteen illegitimate children."
"Before 1995, Kim Jong-il was frequently accused of dishonesty, drunkenness, sexual excess of various kinds and even insanity, particularly in the South Korean press."

So...knowing all of this, let me remind you of the United State's number one defense against this guy, "We don't know exactly what North Korea has in mind. ... We don't know what's under the nose cone of that missile, just for starters. I think it's appropriate to say ... 'don't go there,'" says U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton. Yeah, don't go there you platform shoe wearing, drunken, video loving, crazy guy. Just don't go there.

School's Done; Lots O Fun

La la la... Well, I have one week of my very own, to spend however I like. Daryl is in Georgia learning how to get more information out of me, and I still have one week until I start taking my classes. So, I've been to the dentist, Target, and the pool today. The dentist found a cavity in my very way back wisdom tooth. She said, "I'm willing to give it a whirl," which means that my mouth is really gonna hurt from stretching it wide open on Thursday which is when I will be having my cavity filled. She doesn't really like it when I get cavities on my wisdom teeth.

I have a pool pass now. In fact, I just got back from swimming. That pool is pretty nice..it's an outdoor pool. It only has one lap lane though...so, I was swimming with this 15 or 16 year old kid. He wasn't doing too well...I was kicking his ass, in fact, because he really couldn't even make it a length. Too bad for him. Then, these little kids came in the lap lane and were like...I'm gonna swim laps. Then the lifeguard yelled at them, but they were like, no, I'm gonna swim laps. And they did swim one. Then they got out. That was good. I was afraid that if they kept coming in the lap lane, I wouldn't see them and then WHAM! Like a cannonball to the gut, I would hit them. Luckily, they got back on their side. Then, when I stopped to rest once this kid came over and was like, Are you on a swim team? A long time ago I was, I told him. Why don't you swim over here? And he pointed to the all-kid-screamy area. Over there? Cause it's too wavy and there would be a bunch of people in my way. Then, the 15 year old...trying to hit on me I think...said Nice excuse....big smile. I'm thinking, It's not an excuse...it's the truth. It is too wavy.

Now, I will make myself a giant yogurt smoothie with extra berries and walnuts because that is what I want to eat whilst I watch Dr. Phil.

I Must Be Out of My MInd

People often comment to me that teachers are overpaid. I get the summer off you know. Well, let me tell you, I disagree. I want to offer up some proof of why we teachers are paid exactly what we should be (if not a little less). Exhibit A: Footage of the high school that I teach at. I need to let you know that this was filmed at 7:00 IN THE MORNING. If this happens at your work at 7:00 in the morning, please, let me know.
What's more, many portions of this footage were filmed right outside my classroom door while I was trying to grade some essays.

Mucho Better

I feel much better today. In celebration of my new found happiness, I give you Six Foot Leaping Hare on Steel Pyramid by Barry Flanagan. It may be dangerous for me to look at the 20th Century Art Book too often. I'm starting to wonder if I'm in the wrong profession altogether.
Good songs to make you feel happy that are also about rabbits:
Song A
Song B
Song C
Song D
Well, those may only be "good" songs if you're on some kind of drugs. I like Song C the best, but that's just my personal opinion. Actually, it may also be Barkley's favorite. And Elsie's too.

My Very Bad Mood

Do you ever feel like the whole world has bad karma and it's making a gicky feeling in your stomach? I do. Right now. I hate feeling gicky, but right now there is no other way to feel. I have made a list of songs to suit my gicky mood. I'm not giving them away ahead of time, so you will need to click them if you care...

Oh, also it took me about two minutes to find good paintings to put on here to go with my mood. I have a 20th Century Art Book, and anytime you wanna feel real depressed you can just look through it. It's just a book of depression, that's all. I mean, if you're in a good mood, don't read it at all cause it'll bring you right down, but if you're in a bad mood then it's ready and waiting to come right along with you. The first painting is Black Painting No. 34 by Ad Reinhardt. See, that's part of what makes looking that the 20th Century Art book depressing. You look at these paintings and realize some idiot got paid a lot of money to paint this piece of garbage. The book says Reinhardt "believed that it was impossible to represent the idea of an actual object on canvas." So, apparently what he decided to do was become a painter, you know because...I don't know. The saddest part...oh, yeah, there's a sadder part...do you realize that this is number 34? 34 of these stupid black paintings. Who picked this one? How is this one possibly better than number 30? Or 5?

The second piece here is called The Ribbon of Extremes and it's by Yves Tanguy. Right away I like Yves a little better because at least he put some thought into this. At least there's junk melting all over. I like that a little bit.

Now for the music:

Song A

Song B

Song C

Song D

And, of course, what would Drew and Mike play? What else?

Song E

Ok. That's enough.