Monday, August 27, 2007

Yee Haw...A New Post


Well, I haven't posted in so long and I'd like to say that it's been because I've been so busy brewing up this baby, but I will admit that it's more because of myspace. Myspace is the teufel.

My pregnancy counter on myspace says that I will have been pregnant 200 days tomorrow. That's a lot of days to do anything. It's especially a lot of days to feel like crap. That's the price you pay for bringing new life into the world though.

People keep telling me that I won't be able to sleep all day when the baby comes. Are they for real? Maybe I can just add him to the bed along with the dogs and the cat. I think there's probably room.

Friday, June 15, 2007

No More Teachers' Dirty Looks

Oh, oh, oh....school's out. I don't know how, but somehow I survived this stupid, stupid year. For once, I am done on Friday and I don't have to go back next week to finish anything up. Knowing how this year has been though, I'll probably have to go to teacher court. My friend had to go to teacher court once. Teacher court is when some self-righteous parent wants to challenge a grade that you've give and you have to go explain how you arrived at the grade. I mean, I wouldn't expect to have any problems normally, but with this year, I've learned to expect the unexpected.

So, let's celebrate. Wait, I can't. Okay. You celebrate for me. Go ahead and have a nice cranberry vodka for me. That's my favorite drink (usually). I'll just sit here and drink my Snapple Iced Tea. No, that's sad, isn't it? I do need to celebrate somehow. Okay, I've got it. You can watch this video that combines two of my very favorite things into one.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

China is Stealing All the Rain

Is it just me, or should China think this whole deal over a little bit more than they have??


China rolls out the big guns, aiming for a dry Olympics
Updated 6/29/2006 9:04 PM ET
FRAGRANT HILLS, China — When he's not tending cherry orchards outside Beijing, Yu Yonggang can be found behind the twin barrels of a 37mm anti-aircraft gun, blasting shells at passing clouds.

Yu is one of 37,000 peasants enlisted by the Chinese government to help produce rain in parched areas. The 45-year-old farmer works with China's other trigger-happy rain men to water the crops, break up damaging hailstorms and put out forest fires. After a sandstorm blew through the capital in May, he lobbed shells and rockets skyward to coax rains that washed sand and grit from city streets.

Now Yu and the other rainmakers face their toughest challenge: making sure it stays dry for the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. The idea is for the peasant gunners to work with meteorologists watching radar in the capital. Together, they will hunt pregnant rain clouds and pound them with rockets containing silver iodide. The hope is that any moisture will fall before the clouds can threaten the parade of athletes and lighting of the Olympic flame at the new National Stadium.

China's leaders want the Games to be a showcase for the country's astonishing economic development. The cloud-busting effort shows how far they will go to ensure that nothing interferes with the pageantry.

Yu, who wears a green military jacket and helmet in his gunner's seat, is already feeling pressure to perform. "The whole world will be watching the ceremony," he says. "We must guarantee its success."

In August, the Beijing Weather Modification Office will place the area's 20 firing sites on standby for a major test. In the Fragrant Hills west of Beijing, Yu and six others at the Man-Made Hail-Prevention and Rain-Increasing Work Station will be at the ready, manning four anti-aircraft batteries, which are army castoffs from the 1960s. Yu's wife will talk to Beijing by walkie-talkie, getting the all-clear from aviation authorities and relaying the firing order from the meteorologists. Yu says he hopes to dissipate any clouds completely, increasing the barrage and concentrating his fire if necessary.

Two summers from now, "if rain clouds are headed toward the Olympic stadium, we will intercept them," says Zhang Qiang, a "weather modifier" at the Beijing Meteorological Bureau who will issue the command. "But I can't guarantee the ceremony (will be dry). If there is a big rainstorm, I have no way to stop it."

The U.S. pioneered cloud-seeding in the 1940s and '50s, but the government has cooled on its effectiveness, leaving the field to specialist companies. In China, among the most water-poor nations, the state tries to squeeze every drop from above.

"China has the largest rainmaking (operation) in the world," ahead of Russia and Israel, says professor Wang Guanghe, a 20-year rainmaking veteran at China's Meteorological Sciences Academy. "Each province reports results to us of between 10% to 25%" additional rainfall.

The Chinese government rarely shirks nature's challenge. It recently completed the $25 billion Three Gorges Dam, the world's largest, which was built despite the objections of environmentalists at home and abroad. Weather manipulation is an enthusiastic past-time for Beijing, possibly because so many of the country's Communist leaders are engineers.

The forecast calls for more rain. China's five-year plan urges an increase in man-made precipitation. Central planners want an additional 65 billion cubic yards a year — nearly enough to fill the Yellow River, the country's second-largest river.

China began cloud-busting in 1958. Now "it is increasing every year," says Wang, who cites the drought plaguing northern China as the main reason to fire rain-inducing shells or soar into the skies in cloud-seeding airplanes.

Any chemical fallout is negligible, Wang says. "We have found no evidence of pollution in the rain."

The need for rainwater has produced squabbles on the ground. Two years ago, five thirsty cities in Henan province accused each other of "cloud theft" for their efforts to trigger chemically induced showers.

Older generations of Chinese used to beat bells to pray for rain, Yu recalls. Today, he puts his faith in cigarette-sized sticks of chemicals loaded inside rockets and shells. "Every time we fire, it rains — lightly or heavily," says the farmer, who earns $125 a month during the May-to-September firing season. "At first, the other villagers didn't believe we could make it rain, but most accept it now."

In the Fragrant Hills, locals complain about noise from Yu's guns. He says he's had to fit the firing station with thicker glass because powerful shocks from his anti-aircraft barrages smashed windows.

Annual training programs and the use of licenses have curbed accidents among China's rainmakers, Wang says. Even so, a passerby in southwest Chongqing was killed by part of a rain cannon that flew off during firing in May.

Zhang, the Beijing meteorologist, says most farmers see the benefit of cloud-seeding and welcome chemically induced rains. Five years ago, a storm near the capital killed 139 ducks, crushing them with hailstones. Today, such incidents are rare, she says.

Rain won't be the only threat when the Olympics take place in 2008. Beijing's smog is as big a threat to China's image-makers as a few raindrops.

That's somebody else's problem, says weather guru Zhang: "I can't do anything about the air pollution."

Occupational Hazards

This is about the point in the year when I really start feeling sorry for myself and wonder why I ever thought it would be a good idea to try to teach English to teenagers.

I sometimes think about other people's jobs and how comparatively normal they must be. For example, unless you are also a teacher, you probably did not have to say the following things while you were at work this week:

1. Why are you throwing a medicine ball in the middle of the hallway?

2. Please take out your earphones while I'm talking to you.

3. Why did I kick you off the computer yesterday? I kicked you off the the computer because you were searching wikipedia for the word nipple. That's really not appropriate.

4. What are you spitting into your Gatorade bottle?

5. Twice and two times mean the same thing.

6. I don't think it's wise to compare immigration to the United States by illegal aliens to the vacation that you took to Mexico over spring break.

7. There is no movie version of Catcher in the Rye.

8. Why are you cutting your hair in the middle of class?

And...unless you are a teacher, you most certainly did not get an email like this one:
Between 1st and 2nd hour a student sprayed “super fart smell” from a can in the A building & the south breezeway to B building. It was very strong and we have opened doors to clear the air.

We have identified a suspect and will take care of that end.

Please DO NOT share the specifics with the students as that will only encourage future incidents.

Actually, I have to fess up. I was not actually a victim of the super fart smell incident. The email above was sent to all the teachers at the OTHER high school in the district and one of my friends from the other school forwarded the email to me to let me know what a good day she was having.

Only a few more weeks to go...

Sunday, March 18, 2007

What the World Needs Now

I just got a cell phone. Stop laughing. I said stop. I can't believe how much that stupid little thing can do. I remember when we could program computers to draw a square on the screen and we thought it was genius. Nowadays, the kids wouldn't even be impressed by a hexagon. Times have changed.
Here's my point though.... If my cell phone can do all kinds of crazy crap, I would like technology to help me out in other areas of my life too. Here's what I want: a self-maintaining refrigerator. I want to be able to pull my car up to Meijers and have some guy run out of the store at full speed to load my trunk up with groceries to last me for the next week. Best of all, because technology will have advanced so much, I won't even have to get my credit card out. Nope, they'll just have like this little scanner thing in my trunk and the guy will scan it and say, "You're all set ma'am; have a good one." And I'll say, "See you next week Joseph." His name will be Joseph.
Then, if the poeple who come up with all this garbage get really good, I won't have to leave my house at all. Nope. You see, there will be a chute that is open up on the roof of my house. Helicopters or airplanes will fly over and drop food through the chute into my refrigerator. It will be excellent. There will have to be some kind of scanner type thing that knows what kind of food I am out of, but I assume that this will be no problem. Look at my cell phone for God's sake. And a refrigerator is a lot bigger than a cell phone.
What about all the technology dummies you say? You know, they won't like all this automated crap. Oh, you mean like the people who still write checks at the grocery store? Who writes checks anymore? I don't even know where my checks are half the time. I know it's very unsafe and all, but that's the truth. Well, anyway, we'll still have the store open for those losers. They can go fill up their carts and pay with a check and be real slow. They can also park their carts length-wise across the aisle so that all the other losers can't get by. They can also have 5 or 6 brats following them around the store bouncing a basketball going, "Mom, can we buy this? Can we get this?" It won't matter because I won't go in the store because Joseph will come out and fill up my trunk with all the necessities. Or the helicopter will fly over (nice, right?) No, I won't even know that there are losers in the world anymore because I won't have to associate with them any longer. Meijer will have to post new signs by the checkout. Instead of "Express Lane" and "Candy Free Lane", every lane will say, "If you are a loser, stand here."

Friday, February 16, 2007

Who Was the One Who Thought THIS Was a Good Idea???

By BRIAN SKOLOFF, Associated Press Writer Fri Feb 16, 7:07 PM ET

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - A mile offshore from this city's high-rise condos and spring-break bars lie as many as 2 million old tires, strewn across the ocean floor — a white-walled, steel-belted monument to good intentions gone awry.

The tires were unloaded there in 1972 to create an artificial reef that could attract a rich variety of marine life, and to free up space in clogged landfills. But decades later, the idea has proved a huge ecological blunder.

Little sea life has formed on the tires. Some of the tires that were bundled together with nylon and steel have broken loose and are scouring the ocean floor across a swath the size of 31 football fields. Tires are washing up on beaches. Thousands have wedged up against a nearby natural reef, blocking coral growth and devastating marine life.

"The really good idea was to provide habitat for marine critters so we could double or triple marine life in the area. It just didn't work that way," said Ray McAllister, a professor of ocean engineering at Florida Atlantic University who was instrumental in organizing the project. "I look back now and see it was a bad idea."

In fact, similar problems have been reported at tire reefs worldwide.

"They're a constantly killing coral-destruction machine," said William Nuckols, coordinator for Coastal America, a federal group involved in organizing a cleanup effort that includes Broward County biologists, state scientists and Army and Navy salvage divers.

Gov. Charlie Crist's proposed budget includes $2 million to help gather up and remove the tires. The military divers would do their share of the work at no cost to the state by making it part of their training.

A monthlong pilot project is set for June. The full-scale salvage operation is expected to run through 2010 at a cost to the state of about $3.4 million.

McAllister helped put together the ill-fated reef project with the approval of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. He helped raise several thousand dollars (the county also chipped in), organized hundreds of volunteers with boats and barges, and got tires from Goodyear.

Goodyear also donated equipment to bind and compress the tires, and the Goodyear blimp even dropped a gold-painted tire into the ocean in a ceremonial start to the project.

The tire company issued a press release at the time that proclaimed the reef would "provide a haven for fish and other aquatic species," and noted the "excellent properties of scrap tires as reef material."

It was a disappointment, just like other tire reefs created off coastal states and around the world in recent decades.

"We've literally dumped millions of tires in our oceans," said Jack Sobel, an Ocean Conservancy scientist. "I believe that people who were behind the artificial tire reef promotions actually were well-intentioned and thought they were doing the right thing. In hindsight, we now realize that we made a mistake."

No one can say with certainty why the idea doesn't work, but one problem is that, unlike large ships that have been sunk for reefs, tires are too light. They can be swept away by the tides and powerful storms before marine life has a chance to attach. Some scientists also believe the rubber leaches toxins.

Virginia tried it several decades ago. But Hurricane Bonnie in 1998 ripped the tires loose, and they washed up in North Carolina.

New Jersey scientists thought they had a solution to the weight problem. In 1986, the state began a small reef project with about 1,000 tires split in half, bound together and weighted with concrete. It didn't work. Pieces of rubber broke loose and floated free.

"We had to go up and down the coast of New Jersey and collect 50 to 100 of those pieces that were all along the beaches," said Hugh Carberry of New Jersey's Department of Environmental Protection.

The state then tried stacking tires 10-high and filling the cylindrical center with concrete. Each stack weighed about a ton. While the tires stayed in place, scientists soon learned they did not have enough surface area for marine life to attach, so they switched to using concrete balls.

Indonesia and Malaysia mounted enormous tire reef programs back in the 1980s and are just now seeing the consequences in littered beaches and reef damage, Sobel said.

Most states have stopped using tires to create reefs, but they continue to wash up worldwide. In 2005, volunteers for the Ocean Conservancy's annual international coastal cleanup removed more than 11,000 tires.

The tires retrieved from the waters off Fort Lauderdale will be ground up for use in road projects and burned for fuel, among other uses.

"It's going to be a huge job bringing them all up," said Michael Sole, chief of the state Department of Environmental Protection. "It's vigorous work. You have to dig the tires out of the sand."

Thursday, February 15, 2007

My New Favorite Video

Watch all the way til the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oOz4q-QP08

Work then Pedi then MEXICO!

Here's the equation:
Work
(except my school doesn't have turrets).

















Then


(Except there will probably be some Asian guy by my feet instead of flowers)



















Then

Mexico.....

Click it.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

For Tania


I started to feel bad about posting this, but then I remembered that Fergie's stupid song is like number one on the charts and she makes millions of dollars, so now I don't feel so bad. So, here goes.
How does someone so un-photogenic end up so famous? How are you allowed to sing on TV, the radio, and everywhere else when you just really can't? It's these kinds of questions that make the universe so confusing. I guess recording studios with their fancy overlaying can make anyone a singer. And make-up can make anyone look halfway decent.
Here's the problem though. Eventually, people will realize that you can't sing, Ferg. They will. Won't they? Eventually all the background dancers in the world and additional non-singers won't be able to cover up your non-talent.
Tasty! Tasty!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Let's Hear Some Good News

I just got done reading what was possibly the most depressing article ever. The first few lines are:
"It would be a lot easier to enjoy your life if there weren't so many things trying to kill you every day. The problems start even before you're fully awake."
The article is called "How Americans are Living Dangerously." Here's a link in case you want to be totally depressed on purpose.

I also looked at CNN. It appears that dork of a country--China--has blown up a satellite--on purpose. Apparently it was bothering them being up above the earth so high that they just had to knock it down so that the idea of a useless satellite in space wouldn't keep them up at night. Well, that would be quite all right with me except that CNN/Time says, "The James Bond-style exercise left a several-hundred- meter-wide cloud of scrap metal floating around in space. Some of the debris could pose a threat to spacecraft passing through the region, scientists say, and will remain a problem for hundreds of years to come. And there will be repercussions on Earth, too." So, really, they didn't get rid of the satellite completely. They just broke it up into a million little pieces much like James Frey or Mike Teavee from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Here's something else that's ticks me off: the article never says what the repercussions on Earth will be. Is this going to affect the weather? Really, we don't need to be shooting things out of the sky. Just let them stay up there, China.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Same Blog, Different Colors

Do you like the new color scheme? Well, it doesn't really matter if you do or not because I'm not changing it back. I figure that this way the writing stretches all the way across the page. What a novel idea, huh?

Time to Vote

You know those songs that you hear and it makes you think of the good ol' days? Like Johnny Holden parties and such. Well, I guess it probably only makes you think of Johnny Holden parties if you are Kelly, Amanda, Chip, or me. But anywho, you know what I mean. So, what are your favorite good ol' days party songs? I'm going to tell you right now that I'm putting No Diggety on the list. I'm sure Kelly will second that motion.

Oh No!

OH NO! Poor Southern California. They don't know what to do with themselves. They are SO cold. Wah. Wah.
What are they going to do? They can't even wear their bikinis around today! Oh NO! Get out your winter coats! What? You don't have any? All you own are bikinis and beach wear? Oh, my bad.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Crippling Ice Storm


Well, I was just on The Weather Channel's website. It seems that we're in for a CRIPPLING ICE STORM!!!! It would be bad enough if I saw that there was an ice storm headed our way. I think it's rather unnecessary to add the word CRIPPLING. Watch out, Texas! It seems that you are getting the worst of it. DAMAGING ICING!!! This sounds like one apocalyptic ice storm if you ask me.
Wow. In other news, scientists are moving the doomsday clock forward this week.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I Knew There Was a Secret!

Now that I've read this article, I think I could be well on my way to infamy if I wanted to....

How to become "teacher of the year" article.

Calling All Ladies


Danger! Danger! Brad Pitt is beginning to look OLD! AHHH!!!! What is going on?
Oh, wait. I know. Stupid Angelina J. What is wrong with your big lips that you're making Brad Pitt look so old?







He's starting to look like...dare I say it? Arnie!! Egad.















Let's take a stroll down memory lane and remember what good ol' BP looked like in the good ol' days.




















Even when he wore a dress and thought he was a space monkey, he looked better than now with stupid AJ. What's wrong with you Brad Pitt? Geez.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Don't Stop, Get It Get It

Who else loves Feel Good Inc. by The Gorillaz? I do. I do. It's a nutty good song if you haven't heard it. If you aren't familiar with The Gorillaz, they are a weird little group. They have secret identities. They will only be known by their cartoon selves, which I don't understand because apparently the lead singer is the guy from Blur (remember the Woo Hoo song...Song 2?) and he's actually pretty good looking compared with his cartoon self. His cartoon self is the guy with no eyes. They go to great lengths not to be seen I guess including playing behind secret curtains and stuff during their concerts. It's a little much if you ask me. Plus, who wants to go to a concert and not even see the band?

Why is it so warm yet gray outside today??? The weather is so strange lately. The fact that it's not snowing is kind of freaking me out.

Do you like fish sticks? I'm making some right now. I am going to eat them with tartar sauce. Yum.

DDR

I have a new addiction. Dan started it. He got me dance dance for Christmas. Well, I have to say that it's a lot better than working out for real. You just dance up a storm, which I enjoy, and burn up all those calories from the giant plate of Chinese food you ate last night. Not all bad. I stink at it, but that's okay. There's a little guy in the game that encourages you to do better. He'll say, "That's all right! Grades aren't everything." Thanks, buddy. Then, if you're doing really bad (as I often am) he'll say, "Maybe you should spend some time in the training room." One day, I hope to be as good as these idiots. For now, I'll settle for not making people scream when I wear my bathing suit in Mexico.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Merry Christmas

I love this little message maker that office depot has. I made a message featuring my dad and I have to say that it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Here's hoping you're done with all your shopping. (I'm not.)

Have a good Christmas!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Oh No They Didn't!

Well, I was at Target yesterday. I was Christmas shopping, and I went down the pink Barbie aisle to look at Barbie dolls for my cousin. I picked up a Barbie that came with a dog because, you know, I like dogs and it seemed like a good combo. Then, I looked a little closer at that package. Then, I showed Daryl and we just about had a melt-down in the middle of Target. I was laughing so hard I was crying and people were looking at us. Staring, really. So, here's the product:


Did you know Barbie® doll has a dog named Tanner™? This pooch is has a mouth, ears, and tail that move with your help! You can even “feed” Tanner dog biscuits! After the pup goes potty, just clean up with a special trash can and magnetic scooper. Good doggie!

Okay, in case it's hard to see the picture, let me break it down for you. Yes, that is a pooper scooper in Barbie's hand. Has it really come to this, Barbie. I mean, when I was younger, you worked at McDonald's so that you could afford your chintzy silver Corvette, but this has really gone too far. The specific workings of the dog food/dog poop relationship were outlined on the back of the box at the store. You see, the food is conveniently brown and turd shaped. The child who plays with the toy can feed the dog the food and then lift its tail to see him poop it out. Then, I guess it's time for old Barbie to go to work with her scooper. Then, I guess it's just a matter of recycling if you will.

If you go to this link, you will see that Barbie has not done a good job of picking up the yard and Tanner has taken it upon himself to clean up.

Unfortunately, this doesn't end with Barbie and Tanner.

Teresa® doll takes great care of her adorable pet! Mika™ cat can drink water from a bottle and really “wet” her litter box. Teresa® even scoops up the clumps! They come with cool cat toys, a cat food bowl, different colored kitty litter, and more. Good kitty!