Occupational Hazards

This is about the point in the year when I really start feeling sorry for myself and wonder why I ever thought it would be a good idea to try to teach English to teenagers.

I sometimes think about other people's jobs and how comparatively normal they must be. For example, unless you are also a teacher, you probably did not have to say the following things while you were at work this week:

1. Why are you throwing a medicine ball in the middle of the hallway?

2. Please take out your earphones while I'm talking to you.

3. Why did I kick you off the computer yesterday? I kicked you off the the computer because you were searching wikipedia for the word nipple. That's really not appropriate.

4. What are you spitting into your Gatorade bottle?

5. Twice and two times mean the same thing.

6. I don't think it's wise to compare immigration to the United States by illegal aliens to the vacation that you took to Mexico over spring break.

7. There is no movie version of Catcher in the Rye.

8. Why are you cutting your hair in the middle of class?

And...unless you are a teacher, you most certainly did not get an email like this one:

Between 1st and 2nd hour a student sprayed “super fart smell” from a can in the A building & the south breezeway to B building. It was very strong and we have opened doors to clear the air.

We have identified a suspect and will take care of that end.

Please DO NOT share the specifics with the students as that will only encourage future incidents.

Actually, I have to fess up. I was not actually a victim of the super fart smell incident. The email above was sent to all the teachers at the OTHER high school in the district and one of my friends from the other school forwarded the email to me to let me know what a good day she was having.

Only a few more weeks to go...