Rainy Day

I woke up today and smiled because I knew exactly what my dad would be saying. "That's a nice, soaking rain." In fact, my dad has many different classifications for rainy days. Here they are...
A drizzle...That'll be a nice, soaking rain.
Moderate rain....That's a nice, soaking rain.
A downpour....That's a nice, soaking rain.
Hurricane style rain....That's good for my garden. That's a nice, soaking rain.

New Girl

Because I have no life right now, I will tell you about our neighbor. Partly, I just want to pass on Daryl's new theory because I love it.
You see, our neighbor is probably about our age, he lives by himself, and he used to have this girlfriend who was very nice. She would chat with me over the fence sometimes. I could really envision living next door to her once they got married...ya da ya da. I think it would have been nice to have someone my age around here to talk with...our neighbor is nice, but not much of a conversationalist....so the girlfriend filled that void.
HOWEVER, I was walking Barkley and Sweetums a few weeks ago and my neighbor...we'll call him George...George is outside with a teeny tiny little yorkie dog. "Did you get a dog?" I asked him. He DOES NOT seem like the kind of person who would have a yorkie. So he says, "No, it's my girlfriend's." Thinking that it was the girlfriend that I always talked with, I almost replied with oh, I didn't know she had a dog or something of the sort, but then I didn't and I'm glad. Why? BECAUSE I soon found out that this was not the old girlfriend. He had a new one...just...like...that! Bam!
So, let me tell you about this new one. I don't like her for starters. She walks her Yorkie around the block wearing gold shiny pants. Uh, yeah. Then, she drives a brand new red convertable Thunderbird. And, oh, she is not smart. I've only talked to her briefly and I can tell you that. She's a hair twirler. So, apparently George dumped the good girlfriend to go out with this yahoo. I don't know.
This week Daryl came up for a theme song for George...I love it. Once you hear it, you'll understand what Daryl's theory is.

What is Wrong with My Sidebar?

Seriously now! Is there a specific reason it has moved to the bottom of the page? Have I offended it in some way?

The Blog-o-Versary is Upon Us

Well, Aug. 20th is my blog-o-versary. One year of post this ridiculous blog. Can you believe it? I figured that I ought to post about it today since I am going to Wahington DC to celebrate my blog-o-versary on the actual blog-o-versary. Ok, maybe that's not actually why I'm going to DC, but nevertheless, I won't be here.
Happy One Year of BLOGGING!

My Theory

Well, you've probably seen Nicole Richie on TV. She's famous for...nothing. Oh, her dad is Lionel Richie, big deal. Wait, you cry. I've seen the VH1 Behind the Scenes. Lionel is her adoptive dad. This, of course, begs the question, who is her real dad? I have a theory. It came to me in a burst of enlightenment. Call me Voltaire. I don't know why I'm thinking about this, but I did, and my theory is excellent. I think Prince or the artist formerly known as Prince or the Purple dude might be her dad. I have several reasons for this theory. First, they look a lot alike. Then, both Lionel Richie and Prince worked closely with Shelia E, so there's a connection. Really, Nicole Richie's father is rumored to be Shelia E's brother, but I don't buy it. It's more fun to think that Prince is her real dad.

I Might Need a Hobby

With Daryl being at work pretty much constantly and me being home all the time, I have been developing some strange habits. I was sitting at my kitchen counter today, eating my left-over Chinese food from last night, and I looked down at Sweetums and Barkley and said, "Are you the puppies?" When they didn't answer I repeated myself in a more sing-song voice as if that would elicit a response. They wagged their tails at me which either meant you are so stupid and we feel sorry for you or give us your General Tso's Chicken.
Either way, my days are now filled with such ridiculous conversations. Oh, I ask them other questions too like, "Are you a happy puppy?" and "Where's the good girl?" Don't ask me why.
Another problem I have is that MTV is running a "Laguna Beach: Life in the Real O.C." Marathon. How many times have I watched Jason kiss Jessica when he is supposed to be hooking up with Lauren? I'm not sure I want to know.

Barkley's Song

Barkley's Song
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you can't get me out of your face
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to lick you

And kitty in your lap or no
When you're too in love to let her go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to lick you

Tears stream, down on your face
When you can't get me out of your face
Tears stream down your face
And I will try to lick you
Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from your mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to lick you.

I love the first picture...notice that I am holding the cat. She doesn't mind though.
Ok, who am I kidding? If you have ever watched Sesame Street, you know that this is the real Barkely song. Who can guess what it is?? I'll give you a prize if you know.

Have Any Extra Money Sitting Around?

You may have noticed a new feature on my blog called "Something You Probably Don't Want to Buy from Ebay." I just checked to make sure that the links still work and was surprised to notice that both items that I had featured sold for a considerable amount of money. Would you pay $86 for a stuffed armadillo? I didn't think so...because I wouldn't have any friends that would do something so silly. If I found out about any sillyness of that sort, you would immediately cease to be my friend. No pressure though. Seriously, someone paid 86 dollars for a stuffed armadillo. Why do you need that? What are you going to do with it?? Don't even get me started on the gourds. Uh.
Here is some other crap from Ebay that I'll be mad if anyone actually buys:
Item #1
Item #2
Item #3
Item #4

I Miss You, Victor Newman!

Y&R, a blast from the past!
Well, I thought that I would subscribe to the Free Press so that I could be more educated about the going-ons of our community, nation, and world. It turns out that I pretty much try to do the crosswork puzzle, clip coupons (I saved 5.50 last time I shopped at Meijer), and read the soap opera update in the TV Guide. Oh, and I also cut out pictures of Pudge Rodriguez from the Sports sections and magnet them to the refrigerator.
Well, I had almost forgotten about good ol' Y&R (rightly so) until I opened up my copy of the TVBOOK, and saw a synopsis of last week. Here's what's happening:
After sharing his true past with Victoria, Brad learned the Sharon has been kidnapped, with the abductor demanding a reliquary that Brad's mother has knowledge of in return for Sharon's life. Encouraged by Jack to pursue his spiritual journey, Vicotr sought out Hope in Kansas, where he suffered a seizure. When Alex demanded more money, Kevin and Gloria drugged him and made him believe they had a security tape on which Alex was trying to rape a woman. However, urged by Phyllis to tell the truth, Daniel finally told Lily what really happened at the recreation center that night. Over Lily's protests, Neil called the police and insisted that Lily speak to the officer.

My favorite Y&R characters (in order of favoriteness):
1. Victor Newman (duh)
2. Jack Abbott









3. Katherine 'Kay' Shepard Reynolds Chancellor Thurston Romalotti Romalotti
4. Jill Foster Brooks Abbott Abbott

A Good Way to Find Out What Other People are Really Up To

I tried to watch this episode of Nova the other day about String Theory. I have a hard time with complex scientific theories, so I turned it off after about 20 minutes of being confused. See, string theory proposes that up to 14 different dimensions may exist. I was surprised because I thought there was just 3. Then, I talked to my brother who is so smart that I'm afraid his brain might explode. He just finished taking quantum mechanics in college and he told me that there is for sure a 4th dimension...time. Wow. I learned something new. Then he tried to explain what the other dimensions would be like...something about a sheet and a ball and the ball pulls down on the sheet and gravity. I don't know. It was confusing.
So, here I am trying to forget about all this string theory stuff because it just makes my head hurt, and then I go reading this article about making people invisible. More stuff about bending the electrons. Oh, when will it ever end? I don't know who thinks this stuff up, but they are probably not sitting at home eating hash browns and green beans like I am right now.
Invisible Article
Very Confusing Website About String Theory (Makes my head hurt)

Being Rich Doesn't Make You a Singer

For anyone who knows anything about me, you know I love love love UB40 (much to Kelly's dismay). Unfortunately, Paris Hilton has taken it upon herself to copy their music. Boo! Hiss! Of course, she's denying that her song sounds anything like theirs. It doesn't take a musical genius to figure out that she stole from UB40. Judge for yourself:
Paris' Stupid Song (You'll have to watch the video to hear the song because I can't find a link to the song anywhere)
Kingston Town by UB40
Worse yet, her video is a total rip off of Chris Isaac's "Wicked Games" video.
Again, take a look:
Chris Isaac's Video
Paris Hilton's Trash
You know, since I don't have anything else to do today, I might go to a music store and slap the people who try to buy this garbage.

Things I've Said to the Dog Today

The title of this blog implies that I am only talking to one of the dogs. That is correct; this is not a grammatical mistake.
We don't bite the chair.
Why did you eat my underwear?
That's not nice.
How did you eat so much of it?
I SAID we don't bite the chair!
Don't jump on my head.
Where's my sock?
Did you eat the whole thing?
Time to go night-night.
No bark.
Get away from the chair.
No biting her head.

Finito!

Let's Celebrate! I've finished my work for a masters degree!

United We Dance You control Britney & Bush as they hit the dance floor!

Play this free game now!!

Lend Me Some Sugar! I am Your Neighbor!

Ug. I hate porfolios. I have been working on this stupid thing for hours and hours and the pile of work seems to be decreasing only slightly. I have to turn it in on Thursday, so I better just keep going. I am taking a short break now so that I can eat my strawberry rhubarb pie for lunch. Let me make clear that I did not eat lunch and then this is my dessert. I am eating pie for lunch. Never a good sign.
I am so pround though. I have not procrastinated nearly as badly on on this portfolio as I would have guessed I would. I'm doing pretty good actually. I'm setting goals; I'm meeting them. Of course, the prissy little elementary school teacher who came in with her porfolio finished on the second day of class really made me furious. Now, she has all the time in the world to add little details that she buys at Michaels craft store. Gag me now.
Anyways, one of my favorite songs came on, so I'll share. If you've never heard it, it's awesome.
Its only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
just do your best, do everything you can.
and don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
everything will be just fine,
everything will be alright

This Just In

The newly crowned Miss Universe bears an uncanny resemblance to Dr. Teeth of the muppets. More than that, both of them enjoy wearing gaudy hats. What a pair!

Good to Know...

Take the quiz:
What Kind of Apocalypse Are You?

Zombie Apocolypse
You are stubborn and headstrong, but your methodical and straightforward nature comes in handy when you are in the middle of a ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE. Just remember that a little flexibility and paying close attention to your assets will help you a great deal when fighting off hordes of the undead. Don't let the lumbering beasts of terror get you down, with a little determination you can get through anything.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Oh, No You Didn't Other Lil' Kim

UGH!!! Somebody tell me that if I ever go to jail you will meet me outside in a Rolls with flowers and balloons when I get released! Oh, and don't forget my bodyguard.

Way to go, Lil' Kim.

Oh No You Didn't Lil' Kim!

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on you.
You may remember a recent blog in which I explored the possibility of North Korea shooting off a test missile. If not, click here.
To be fair, Kimmy Kim Kim did not shoot off a test missile, he shot off 7. On the 4th of July. While we were launching the space shuttle.
Uh, Kim. I think you need to remember whatwe told you before, which I have documented in a former blog: "A North Korean missile launch would be 'a provocation and a dangerous action' that would lead to the United States imposing 'some cost' on North Korea." That does not sound like good news to me, Kim.
Well, wait a second, here's what W said today: "The North Korean government can join the community of nations and prove its lot by acting in concert with those of us who believe that she shouldn't possess nuclear weapons and with those of us who believe that there is a positive way forward for the North Korean government and her people," Bush said. "This is a choice they make." Maybe you're gonna be okay, Kim.

This actually sounds a lot like what happens in many households around the country...
Daddy W: Don't you throw your peas, Kim-Kim.
Kim: (Fills his spoon with extra peas.)
Daddy W: I'm warning you; you do that and your mother and I will be very upset.
Kim: (Smiling and cocking his spoon back.)
Daddy W: That's not a good idea, son.
Kim: (Sticks his tongue out and waits.)
(Telephone rings and Daddy W. answers. Kim lets peas rip.)
Daddy W: (after finishing his call) I told you not to do that. Luckily, those peas didn't hit me, or else you'd really be in trouble. You go to your room. You can come back and join the rest of the family when you can sit here without launching your peas at me.

So Funny

This site is so funny that it made me laugh till I cried. I stole it from my mom's blog. It reminds me a little of work. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Making a Balony Sandwich.

What if Cap'n Crunch Actually Tasted Good?

Then, I would love it. See, I love the basic premise of Cap'n Crunch, but it is way too sweet. So today, I found its beautifully perfect replacement, Puffins. It may be the perfect cereal, and I may have another bowl.


-->Each Box Contains: 11 oz. (312g) As light and crunchy as Original Puffins, but made with real peanut butter. Ingredients: Corn Meal, Dehydrated Cane Juice, Natural Peanut Butter (Ground Peanuts, Salt), Oat Flour, Rice Flour, Sea Salt, Vitamin E (Mixed Tocopherols), Baking Soda.