Mexico

I was just looking back at the blog and I realized that I never told you anything about our trip to Mexico. We saw a baracuda while we swimming, and we got bitten by some fire ants. That's about the only bad things that happened. Oh, wait. Someone got murdered at our resort while we were there.

Two Canadian tourists killed in Mexican resort
Updated Wed. Feb. 22 2006 6:13 AM ET
CTV.ca News Staff
Two Canadian tourists, who were in Mexico for their daughter's wedding, were found brutally murdered in their hotel room one day before the nuptials.
"Foreign Affairs has been informed yesterday of the death of a Canadian couple," Pamela Greenwell, Foreign Affairs spokesperson told CTV.ca on Tuesday night.
"Contact has been established with accompanying family in order to offer consular assistance," she said, adding that Mexican authorities have launched an investigation into their deaths.
Local papers say Domenico Ianiero, a 59-year-old real estate agent, and his 55-year-old wife Annunziata, also known as Nancy, were discovered slain in their hotel room on Monday morning, their throats slit by a knife, execution-style.
According to unconfirmed local reports, the bodies were found after family members became concerned when they were unable to locate the couple.
It's believed nothing was stolen from the Ianiero's room, nor were there signs of forced entry.
The Woodbridge, Ont. couple was staying at the luxurious Barcelo Maya hotel, which is located some 20 kilometres south of Playa del Carmen.
The hotel's general manager told CTV's Scott Laurie that he could not give out any further information about the murders.
"It's pretty clear from walking in the lobby that there is an increased security presence there. There were a lot of people walking around, not in uniform but in walkie talkies, clearly keeping track of who is coming and going from the hotel," Laurie reported from Playa del Carmen.
Authorities have questioned sixteen Canadians in Mexico, who were travelling with the couple for the wedding, which was scheduled for Tuesday.
It's unclear the role Canadian authorities will play in the investigation.
"The Mexican police naturally have prime jurisdiction in the area, so in the end we must leave it to them," said Dave Harris, the former chief of strategic planning for CSIS.
"But they have every incentive to be co-operative because when you think about it a good deal of Mexico's income does come from tourism and Canadians are considerable contributors to that influx," Harris said, appearing on CTV Newsnet.
Meanwhile, news of the couple's deaths have left neighbours and co-workers reeling.
"He is not the type of person that this should actually happen to," said Vince Carere of Domenico Ianiero, who he worked with at HomeLife Real Estate.
One neighbour, who described the couple as "smiling" and "friendly," told CTV Toronto: "We were shocked. I don't even know what words I can say to describe what we felt."

Yeah, so everything else was fine though. Why is it that evilness seems to follow me around lately? Weird.

Devil

I was just looking around at this website about Koko, a gorilla who knows sign language. You can browse around and see photos of Koko making her 48 very most favorite signs, one of which is devil. So, I began wondering: When did the need arise to teach Koko the word devil? Just something to ponder...

Uncle Walt

When I Heard the Learned Astronomer
by Walt Whitman

When I heard the learn'd astronomer,
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,
When I was shown the charts and diagrams, to add, divide,
and measure them,
When I sitting heard the astronomer where he lectured with
much applause in the lecture-room,
How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,
Till rising and gliding out I wander'd off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars.

Time Out

Are today's parents feeding their children speed? Just asking.
Today I had to give the 8th Grade Computer Proficiency Examination. Oh, what fun. These are the days that I would like to be paid as much as the lovely person who created the 8th Grade Computer Proficiency Examination. I would also like power to permanently relieve that person from their work duties. I'm not sure that it tested anyone's ability to operate a computer as much as it tested my own patience.
The test consisted of a full page of instructions. As you may know from recently visiting any movie theater with teenage patrons, kids cannot follow even the simplest of instructions. Even on a normal day when I ask that they open their book to page 324, I must repeat myself 4 or 5 times. Even then, I'm lucky if half of them have their books out. I was instructed not to help the kids with any part of the instructions as this was part of the test. They began by playing along nicely. "Listen up, kids. This is important," I announce. Josh stop clicking your mouse and listen.
"I am (CLICK, CLICK, CLICKITY CLICK). "
"Okay, Josh. Just remember that you will live your life in computer purgatory if you don't pass this test."
"What's purgatory?"
"Never mind."
"This test is important. You see, if you don't pass the powers that be will take away your elective classes...art, pastries (yes, we have a pastries class), small engine repair...and they will replace that elective with Computers for Dummies. So, if you don't want to be in Computers for Dummies, you need to follow directions and do everything perfectly. Yes, Amanda. You have a question."
"What if we like make like one mistake? Do they like put us in the stupid computer class?"
"Yes, I'm afraid they will. They're very mean."
The class nods gravely. They understand that their future happiness is on the line. I explain that they need to read the sheet on their own and follow directions carefully. "Do you understand?" Nod, nod, nod. Yes teacher, you are very boring, let's go. Their fingers are twitching. They're ready to start. "Okay, get started."
Thirty seconds elapse.
"Oh, Eric. You have a question already? What do you need?"
"Can we start?"
You can probably guess how my day went. Spring break cannot come fast enough. I have to give parts 2 and 3 of this stupid thing tomorrow. Today's song (I wish).
The kid's song about me.

P.S. Photo is not of my actual students, but it resembles my students very much.

P.P.S Do not look up "bored students" on Yahoo image search (in case you were just about to do that). "Boring class" yields much better and cleaner results.

My Ears Hurt

I feel like I just got home from Angela's bachelorette party. Oh, wait. That's cause I just did. I got home at 4:00am. That's a new record for my 26 year old body. Which reminds me, I still need to make coffee. And go back to sleep because I feel like the walking dead.
Well, I've seen a lot of scary, crazy stuff in my night clubbing days. There was the guy in Chicago who got smacked over the head with a bottle and the crazy drug deals I saw in Mt. Clemens, but last night had to take the cake. First, I have to point out that I have an eye for trouble when I'm at the bar. I think it comes partly from having a husband in law enforcement and partly from years of teaching high school. I am always on patrol and it was no differnt last night at Club Envy in Detroit. Anyways, I noticed something was not right. People were terribly drunk. Falling over and that kind of thing, so I knew there would be trouble somewhere very soon. I began watching the stairs to the "VIP room," which according to the people filing up and down the stairs was based on how much money you show the bouncers rather than any kind of good looks. So, I'm looking at the stairs and people are coming down, down, down in a hurry. I looked at the girl next to me. Is there a fire up there or something? She, unlike me, did not have a nose for trouble and did not care. The bouncers started scrambling around. Then, came the guy in the torn up shirt. Okay, maybe no fire, but definitely a fight I thought. We were sitting on a couch and suddenly someone (a bouncer, a bartender??) came over and jumped on the table in front of us waving his arms trying to get the DJ to cut the music. I look over at my group who along with the other club goers cannot believe they are turning on the lights and cutting the music. To them, the party was being cut unfairly short, to me this was a sign that something majorly bad was happening. I'm a panicer, so I was just ready to go, go, go. Suddenly we are informed by Angela's step mom that our limo is out front and that we are to book it to the limo because there is fighting going on outside. So out we go. Through the front door, past the fighting inside only to find that things are much, much worse outside. There are about 10 Detroit police cars, CAUTION TAPE(!), and a blood splattered limo in front of us as we walk out the door. Our poor limo driver looks completely paniced and we run toward the limo cautiously going around the small puddles of blood on the sidewalk. The other girls reported seeing a blood covered guy, but I didn't see him. Gee, I don't know what was distracting me.
It's almost ironic though because right before all this happened, I was thinking, "Hey, Detroit has really cleaned up its act. I'm downtown, I ain't scrd." No. No. No. That was some crazy crap right there. Holy cow.
I have to say that although the club has a nasty fight club thing going on, they play good music. I am happy to report that they played "Laffy Taffy." If you have read all of my prior blogs, you know this one is a favorite. They also play "Here Come the Hotstepper," which I love because I dance to it just like I'm a hotstepper. Kelly knows all about that. THat song is so old I almost forgot about it.
Hey, I was just looking for links to my songs up above and I found this one. This is such a stupid song (with a stupid video), but I love it. Another one here...how are these all on the same CD??
Sincerely,
The Lyrical Gangsta

Songs

I like to put songs on my blog for your entertainment pleasure. Here are some that I love and just think are funny. I had to make a special posting for songs because they didn't fit anywhere else and I couldn't think of anything else to say about them.

This is me everyday.
I like this song because it reminds me of my job which is funny unto itself. Why anyone would put me in charge of a bunch of kids...I have no clue.

For those depressing days.
I like this song because it reminds me of my and Kelly's dream of singing kareoke (no idea how to spell this Japanese trend).

Song I cannot wait to rock out to.
As I've said before this song rocks. I wish they would play it next time I'm out at the club.

Speaking of...
I'll be there wit my bottle full of bub.

A List of Things I Secretly Don't Believe (or don't want to)

Here goes....
1. That my cat weighs 17.4 pounds.
2. That when you use Dawn dishwashing liquid the bubbles turn into little vacuum cleaners that suck up all the grease.
3. That the Woman with a 200 Pound Tumor show is on AGAIN tonight.
4. How long it's been since I've cleaned my house (no, I'm not telling).
5. That "The Simple Life" is now rerunning on E!.
6. And that I've been watching it.
7. That one of my teaching partners once shot a man trying to rob him by taking the robber's gun away from him (I've heard him tell the story twice now).
8. That one of my teaching partners (same one) is actually going to physical therapy each time he leaves the building saying, "I'm off to physical therapy."
9. That he once took an 8th grade boy to get tested for STDs with the boy's parents' blessing.
10. That he sings in a gospel choir downtown.
11. That he was once a raging alcoholic, in the army, an engineer, a principal, a notary public, an attorney, a grief counselor, and a loving father (not all at the same time, obviously).
12. That I have held myself back from calling this guy out on all his lies.
13. That I am 26 years old.
14. That it's 8:17 P.M. and Daryl still isn't home (even though he left for work at 6:00ish A.M.)
15. That anyone buys exercise videos from John Basedow...He's gonna show you how...to meet your potential...and turn your whole life around...(sing it with me) IT'S FITNESS MADE SIMPLE...la da dee da duh...

Okay. Okay. I'm Back.

Wow. I did not blog for a very long time, and I apologize to those of you who are avid blog readers. I wanted to get on here and blog about my trip to Mexico, but then I had a giant paper due, so then I was gonna write about it after that, but then it seemed too late. And my life has been downright boring (and depressing...I'm in Michigan and not somewhere warm like Mexico) since then.
Let's just talk now about my impact on the world. That's right. MY WORLD DOMINATING IMPACT. Muhhahahhaaa. At last count I have inspired six people to create their own blogs and one to create her own picture page (okay maybe Daryl was responsible for that inspiration). Two of these people have only ever posted one posting (PAUL and MONTY!!!) so I am very sad about that. Others have created wonderful pieces of artistic regalia with their blog. My mom's is very funny (at least I think it's funny). You may view it by clicking on the link to the right. Vanilla Dan's umm... well..... Vanilla Dan's is threatening in that if you don't post comments to his blog you may get threatening comments posted on yours in return. (Please see elephant blog below). I'm not here to tell you where to take your grand Sandy inspiration, but I am here to tell you how important it is to update your blog more than once (PAUL and MONTY!!!) and not be threatening.
Daryl is home from work now. I should go feed him lasagna.

Just For Kelly

Definitely click here.

And if you lauged, click here because you will probably also like the punk kittens.

Stop Whining

What a bunch of whiny babies. Look what was in the Seattle Times:

It's snowing
Posted by Seattle Times at 01:55 PM
Yeah, yeah, so we hear you have some wind issues back there in the Great Metropolis.
Well, I'm looking out of the window of the 46th floor of the Marriott Renaissance Center hotel and I can tell you that it is snowing hard — and horizontally — in downtown Detroit. The wind didn't seem quite that brutal on the ground, where I was 15 minutes ago, but it appears to have picked up. The Detroit newspapers this morning said 8 inches of snow on the ground is possible for game day.
Yes, Ford Field has a roof, but the view from my window illustrates the argument of those who think Super Bowls ought not be played in northern cities.
Holy schmaholy. I think my windows are about to get blown out.

Heck yeah, it's snowing. Welcome to Detroit.
Eminem says hi.

The Drain vs. The Broccoli

The Super Bowl is here and so is the broccoli. The broccoli happens to be in the basement sink next the washing machine. It made a special appearance in our laundry tub a few days ago when we tried washing a load of laundry. Daryl and I stood there and asked ourselves, "How the heck is there broccoli floating in the laundry tub? How odd!" Okay, really, I was the only one sincerely asking that question. Daryl already had a clue, but he didn't want to tell me I don't think.
You see, a few days before we had Daryl's parents over for dinner. I chopped up some broccoli and put it out with some dip. Daryl was nice enough to clean it up afterward. Rather than saving the broccoli, he dumped all of the remaining broccoli (which was a lot) down the drain and ran the garbage disposal.
The truth came out a few days later when my dad came over to help us and said, "Broccoli really clogs up drains. They're kinda spongy, you know?" Daryl broke down and admitted to stuffing the broccoli down the drain. Now, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same exact thing. Actually, I probably would have transferred the broccoli to a zip-lock bag, put it in the refrigerator, waited about two weeks for it to start rotting, then thrown it away in the garbage. See, I would have taken a different route. Daryl's was just more pro-active.
My favorite part of the whole ordeal was hearing my dad explain to someone else that we had had a plumbing problem. "What caused it?" my grandpa asked.
"I don't know...I guess Daryl thought the garbage disposal was a tree shredder or something," explained my dad. He's so funny. But I think he didn't really think that the broccoli was that funny.
So today, I decided to press my luck. Remember that game show? No whammy. No whammy. Big MONEY!! Anyway, the drain was supposedly fixed, so I put in a load. To really make matters more chancy, I turned that baby up to "oversized load." Oh, this would be a lot of water. Then I waited to see what would happen.
I'll tell you what happened. Black sludge came up to the top of the floor drain. Yes, the very tip top. Ug. It smelled like a combination of dead possum, sick apple, and black sludge. I was so scared that it would just start flooding the basement.
So, I called my dad and he said, "Dump some ammonia and hot water down there." So I did. When the rinse cycle came on the drain REALLY overflowed, but at least it smelled like ammonia and not black sludge.
I'm a gamblin' girl, see, so I decided to put on one more load of laundry. I was waiting nervously by the washer. This time I only did "large load." Then, the moment of truth was here. The water starting churning out of the washer pipe and into the drain. "Go. Go. Go!" I chanted. Here it was, the water was busting on out of the drain pipe on the floor again. "Go. Go. Go," I urged the water to start flowing back down the drain with all my heart. It was all I knew how to do. I stomped my feet. "Go. Gooooo. GOOOOO!!!" Stupid drain. Well, the floor's wet, but the laundry's done, and there's no broccoli in the sink.

P.S. You can see the broccoli stains on the sink in the picture. Yuck.

Sandra 2005

My name is now a technological acronym. How nice. Click here.

Drew Neitzel: Babe of da Day

I know, I know. He's too young for me and I'm married to Daryl, but I'm still declaring Drew Neitzel the babe of the day. Not for his hottie good looks necessarily either, but because he has fantastic basketball skills.

Cesar is Back!

And he is ready to train some dogs. Tonight's episode: "Buddy, Teddy, and Matilda" Episode #203. A dog stalks and kills small animals; a poodle chases cars; an English bulldog attacks skateboards." If you have never watched the dog whisperer, you are missing out. Barkley even says so. I have a feeling that Cesar is going to tell the family with the dog that stalks and kills small animals that their dog has serious problems. Maybe he'll have to take it to the dog rehabilitation center for treatment.

You know, yesterday I had an epiphany. Crazy people always have lots of keys. So many, many more than one person would need... There are several (SEVERAL) crazy teachers at the school I work at. They each have about a million keys. Just to be fair, I need to say up front that I will exclude the custodians from the keys=crazy rule. It's necessary for them to have tons of keys, therefore not crazy. Back to the ones who are crazy though. We have this shop teacher and I know you're probably thinking of your own shop teacher from back in the day, but this guy takes the cake. And he has a lot of keys. They don't even fit in his pocket because he has too many. So that's a signb too. If you're carry your keys on your belt loop somehow...you might be in trouble.

My Journey to Bloomington, Indiana (and Back)

We went to see Kelly and Chip this weekend. I wish I could have snapped a photo of ALL the crazy moments, but there are only so many pictures you can take. First off, we decided to go on the weekend where we would have to drive through the world's worst snow flurries and wind. Once we got there, however, the moments turned into the good crazy kind. Of course, that was AFTER Daryl apologized for threatening to leave me in the bathroom at the Chelsea, MI Big Boy Restuarant.
On Saturday, we went to my favorite store--Target---where else? I had to buy a bathing suit. You'll see why later. Then, we went to the Cold Stone Creamery where I had never been before. I got Apple Pie al a Mode (or however you spell it) ice cream. It was great. Chip kept throwing his waffle cone on the floor and that was kind of embarrassing. Of course, this was after lunch where Daryl dropped his hot dog in an even more embarrassing spot, so I suppose Chip's antics pale in comparison to Daryl's.
Then, Kelly and I went swimming. (See, this is where the bathing suit comes in.) The boys stayed behind and played a rousing game of Scrabble. Kelly and I pretended we were on a tropical Indiana vacation and stayed in the pool until we looked like Prunes. I think I got a tan. Just kidding.
Then, we went back to Kelly's and I did one of my favorite things. I took a nap. After that, Kelly made us yummy steak and potatoes on her George Foreman grill. We had to gear up for our big night out. After about three rounds of Apples to Apples, we were ready to start getting ready. Kelly and I mushed together in one bathroom to get ready just for old times sake. Then, when we looked like mega-babes, we left for the bar.
Kelly told me to get a long island iced tea, so I did. When it came, I was surprised (and pleased) to see that it was served to me in a full sized pitcher with a straw. Kelly did not tell me that even though she knew.
When we had our fill of iced-tea, we drove home listening to Laffy Taffy. It was great.
The next day, we pretty much bummed around and I taught Kelly "Oh Heck," which I learned from Holly. I was hoping I could teach Kelly and then I could win against her. However, Kelly caught on quickly, and I bet she could even give Holly a run for her money.
We were so sad to leave the 60 degree Bloomington the next day. :-( We drove and drove the six hour drive back to Michigan, stopped by my mom's to pick up the dog and cat, and drove to our house. When we opened the door, it felt cold. When I looked at the thermostat, it said 51 degrees. Our furnance was broken. We had to drive back to my parents and spend the night so we didn't wake up with hypothermia. I hate Michigan.

P.S. The only song I like more than Laffy Taffy right now is The Honkey-Tonk Badonkadonk.

Flava Flav

Flava Flav has a new show. Daryl just let me know that it's on right now, so I have to go watch it. I don't know why anyone...especially me...would want to waste my time watching this show. It is totally ridiculous but a very good time waster.

He is out of control. With his clocks and all.

Happy Saturday

It is SO Saturday today. I am not ashamed to admit that I slept until 10:30 and did not take a shower until noon. It was beautiful.
Now, I am off to one of my very favorite places-the library. I love it. I cannot get over the fact that there is a place you can go and borrow books for free. For free. I love free stuff. Of course, the books aren't always free for me because I tend to forget that I have them and then I have to pay overdue fines. That's okay though. That's why I haven't been back to the Grosse Pointe library in a while...I owe $6.00. What a scam. Oh well.

Ten Hours Until I Have to Start Teaching AGAIN

In honor of the ten hour mark...
Top Ten Questions Paris Hilton Asked Herself Before Buying A Monkey
10. "Does it go with my shoes?"
9. "Should I get the extended warranty that covers replacement monkey parts?"
8. "Which species got the best rating from 'Consumer Monkey Reports'?"
7. "Does Louis Vuitton make monkey-wear?"
6. "Will it get along with whatever wealthy twit I'm currently engaged to?"
5. "If I don't buy this monkey, does that mean the terrorists have won?"
4. "Will it get along with Lindsay Lohan's orangutan?"
3. "Should I consider leasing?"
2. "Can it be trained to hold a video camera?"
1. "Will I still want a monkey when I'm sober?"

Thanks Dave.
He rocks.

Now, something fun from Huckleberry Finn which I will be discussing in room 244 at 8:00 AM tomorrow.
"After breakfast I wanted to talk about the dead man and guess out how he come to be killed, but Jim didn't want to. He said it would fetch bad luck; and besides, he said, he might come and ha'nt us; he said a man that warn't buried was more likely to go a-ha'nting around than one that was planted and comfortable. That sounded pretty reasonable, so I didn't say no more; but I couldn't keep from studing over it and wishing I knowed who shot the man, and what they done it for."
Thanks Mark Twain.
He rocked.

I am Sophia

Which Golden Girl Are You?

Ouch

Happy New Year I guess. I have come to a conclusion, and it is a very sad one. I am far too old for New Year's Eve parties. Also, Steve's Fruitinis are dangerous and should be outlawed.