When Fish Attack

Some people thinking swimming in lakes is fun...even relaxing. I used to think so too. Last weekend we went to Daryl's grandma's cottage for a little R&R. It turns out that the fish in the lake had a hidden agenda. They were out to get me. Maybe they could smell my fishing license a mile away. Maybe they just had a hunger for some human flesh. Whatever the reason, the fish took up their welcome mat and slammed the door in my face when I tried to enter their domain.


It started off a day like any other. Tania and I were hot as always...but this time we were hot with one t instead of two. We decided to go for a dip. If there's one thing I don't like, it's lake muck. In fact, I think that every lake should come with one of these:



And this:


So anyway, I wanted to avoid standing in the lake muck, so I got on a floatie. It was a nice little innertube, and I floated around enjoying the water for about 30 seconds. And then I floated too close to the boat dock and a fish came out from the boat dock and somehow got stuck between my leg and the innertube. So what does it do? It starts beating my leg with its fish tail. I screamed like a girl for all I was worth and the fish swam away.

To help you better understand the attack, I have done two things for you here. First, I have recreated the scene in Paint using my fine artist ability. For some reason, I had to keep retelling the saga for Holly and Tania because they just couldn't understand how the fish tail was smacking my leg. So, I hope this helps. Secondly, I have found a picture of what I think the fish may have looked like. Here is exhibit A and B:


















I got out of the water as fast as I could, but then I got my bravery all up and got back in and I stayed far away from the boat dock. In fact, I thought it would be a good idea to latch onto Tania's raft and have her pull me around. Turns out that was a really good idea if you don't count the horrendous guilt I felt when Tania's shoulders were sore the next day from towing me around the lake.

If you know anything about my stories, you can be sure this one doesn't end here. The next day Dan drove us to this beach-like island so we could go swimming. I'll admit that the bottom was nice and I also enjoyed the island entertainment. The entertainment mainly consisted of these kids excavating under this giant tree...basically trying to dig out all the earth from underneath it so that it would fall on them and crush them. Now that I think about it, it wasn't very good entertainment at all. It was just one of those things that you watch even though you probably shouldn't. Oh, and the kids' dad just stood there and watched them in this death trap.

Anywho, getting on to my next fish attack..... I was in the tube again. (Big mistake, of course.) I suddenly feel a fish on my leg. I look down and see a fish caught again in the tube next to my leg. So I try to get out of the tube, but you know that getting out of one of those things is next to impossible...especially when you're hurrying and being attacked by a fish. So, I looked down again to see if the fish had gotten out and I saw its little beady eye staring up at me. Daryl was standing right there, but he was of no help except to verify my story for the disbelievers....I don't want to name names here.


















Why do fish attack me? There are several theories, but the one that seems to make the most sense is that I kept hooking fish through the eye while I was fishing. I'll admit that it wasn't very nice of me to do that, but an all out fish war is a little uncalled for, don't you think?