Things I've Said to the Dog Today

The title of this blog implies that I am only talking to one of the dogs. That is correct; this is not a grammatical mistake.
We don't bite the chair.
Why did you eat my underwear?
That's not nice.
How did you eat so much of it?
I SAID we don't bite the chair!
Don't jump on my head.
Where's my sock?
Did you eat the whole thing?
Time to go night-night.
No bark.
Get away from the chair.
No biting her head.