Time Out

Are today's parents feeding their children speed? Just asking.
Today I had to give the 8th Grade Computer Proficiency Examination. Oh, what fun. These are the days that I would like to be paid as much as the lovely person who created the 8th Grade Computer Proficiency Examination. I would also like power to permanently relieve that person from their work duties. I'm not sure that it tested anyone's ability to operate a computer as much as it tested my own patience.
The test consisted of a full page of instructions. As you may know from recently visiting any movie theater with teenage patrons, kids cannot follow even the simplest of instructions. Even on a normal day when I ask that they open their book to page 324, I must repeat myself 4 or 5 times. Even then, I'm lucky if half of them have their books out. I was instructed not to help the kids with any part of the instructions as this was part of the test. They began by playing along nicely. "Listen up, kids. This is important," I announce. Josh stop clicking your mouse and listen.
"I am (CLICK, CLICK, CLICKITY CLICK). "
"Okay, Josh. Just remember that you will live your life in computer purgatory if you don't pass this test."
"What's purgatory?"
"Never mind."
"This test is important. You see, if you don't pass the powers that be will take away your elective classes...art, pastries (yes, we have a pastries class), small engine repair...and they will replace that elective with Computers for Dummies. So, if you don't want to be in Computers for Dummies, you need to follow directions and do everything perfectly. Yes, Amanda. You have a question."
"What if we like make like one mistake? Do they like put us in the stupid computer class?"
"Yes, I'm afraid they will. They're very mean."
The class nods gravely. They understand that their future happiness is on the line. I explain that they need to read the sheet on their own and follow directions carefully. "Do you understand?" Nod, nod, nod. Yes teacher, you are very boring, let's go. Their fingers are twitching. They're ready to start. "Okay, get started."
Thirty seconds elapse.
"Oh, Eric. You have a question already? What do you need?"
"Can we start?"
You can probably guess how my day went. Spring break cannot come fast enough. I have to give parts 2 and 3 of this stupid thing tomorrow. Today's song (I wish).
The kid's song about me.

P.S. Photo is not of my actual students, but it resembles my students very much.

P.P.S Do not look up "bored students" on Yahoo image search (in case you were just about to do that). "Boring class" yields much better and cleaner results.