My Ears Hurt

I feel like I just got home from Angela's bachelorette party. Oh, wait. That's cause I just did. I got home at 4:00am. That's a new record for my 26 year old body. Which reminds me, I still need to make coffee. And go back to sleep because I feel like the walking dead.
Well, I've seen a lot of scary, crazy stuff in my night clubbing days. There was the guy in Chicago who got smacked over the head with a bottle and the crazy drug deals I saw in Mt. Clemens, but last night had to take the cake. First, I have to point out that I have an eye for trouble when I'm at the bar. I think it comes partly from having a husband in law enforcement and partly from years of teaching high school. I am always on patrol and it was no differnt last night at Club Envy in Detroit. Anyways, I noticed something was not right. People were terribly drunk. Falling over and that kind of thing, so I knew there would be trouble somewhere very soon. I began watching the stairs to the "VIP room," which according to the people filing up and down the stairs was based on how much money you show the bouncers rather than any kind of good looks. So, I'm looking at the stairs and people are coming down, down, down in a hurry. I looked at the girl next to me. Is there a fire up there or something? She, unlike me, did not have a nose for trouble and did not care. The bouncers started scrambling around. Then, came the guy in the torn up shirt. Okay, maybe no fire, but definitely a fight I thought. We were sitting on a couch and suddenly someone (a bouncer, a bartender??) came over and jumped on the table in front of us waving his arms trying to get the DJ to cut the music. I look over at my group who along with the other club goers cannot believe they are turning on the lights and cutting the music. To them, the party was being cut unfairly short, to me this was a sign that something majorly bad was happening. I'm a panicer, so I was just ready to go, go, go. Suddenly we are informed by Angela's step mom that our limo is out front and that we are to book it to the limo because there is fighting going on outside. So out we go. Through the front door, past the fighting inside only to find that things are much, much worse outside. There are about 10 Detroit police cars, CAUTION TAPE(!), and a blood splattered limo in front of us as we walk out the door. Our poor limo driver looks completely paniced and we run toward the limo cautiously going around the small puddles of blood on the sidewalk. The other girls reported seeing a blood covered guy, but I didn't see him. Gee, I don't know what was distracting me.
It's almost ironic though because right before all this happened, I was thinking, "Hey, Detroit has really cleaned up its act. I'm downtown, I ain't scrd." No. No. No. That was some crazy crap right there. Holy cow.
I have to say that although the club has a nasty fight club thing going on, they play good music. I am happy to report that they played "Laffy Taffy." If you have read all of my prior blogs, you know this one is a favorite. They also play "Here Come the Hotstepper," which I love because I dance to it just like I'm a hotstepper. Kelly knows all about that. THat song is so old I almost forgot about it.
Hey, I was just looking for links to my songs up above and I found this one. This is such a stupid song (with a stupid video), but I love it. Another one here...how are these all on the same CD??
Sincerely,
The Lyrical Gangsta