I Rock

My paper is done. Finito. And I'm done with that class. Just two more to go before I earn my black belt in teaching and curriculum. My paper ended up being 10 pages....here's the kicker...single spaced. Now, I've been up for too many nights with very little sleep and it feels like little tiny spears are poking through the back of my eyeballs. Plus, I don't make any sense when I talk (or probably when I write either). So, sorry.

Procrastination

pro·cras·ti·nate (pr-krst-nt, pr-) v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates v. intr.
To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.v. tr.
To postpone or delay needlessly.

Oh. I have a paper to write. It is technically due tomorrow. I needs to be 12 pages long at a minimum. Oh. I hate writing papers so much. I hate, hate, hate it.
It is 11:26 am on Sunday. I am still in my pajamas. Things that I have done today:
1. Made coffee.
2. Drank coffee.
3. Made a bowl of cereal.
4. Ate cereal.
5. Washed my face.
6. Let Barkley out.
7. Watched the CBS Sunday Morning Show *my absolute fav*
8. Sat at the computer drinking more coffee doing this.
9. Looked up car harnesses for dogs on the internet because I think I want to get one for Barkley since she slammed her face into the window in the car yesterday while I was stopping abruptly.
9. Measured a flailing Barkley who acts like a fish out of water when you try to measure her to see what size car harness to buy.

Reasons why I probably will be up until midnight, go to sleep for two hours, wake back up and then finish my paper:
1. I am planning to go to the pet store directly after my shower. Barkley is out of biscuits, which is a catastrophe.
2. I am planning to take a nap sometime today. After everything I've done so far, I'm getting kind of tired PLUS I need to prepare for the fact that I will be up late tonight without much sleep.
3. I have to go find a birthday present for my grandpa.
4. I have to go to my grandpa's birthday dinner.
5. I have to plan what I will do in all three of my classes that I teach tomorrow. Yikes. Does anyone want to develop a lesson on the Harlem Renaissance for me?? Tale of Two Cities? 8th grade poetry?? Hm... Yeah, I need to fit that in somehow. Ohh...how about silent reading? That's great.

As I see things, this does not leave much time for writing papers.

Top Ten Reasons We Need Another Dog

1. Barkley needs a friend.
2. There is still a little more room in the bed.
3. Dogs make you happy.
4. There can never be too many tails.
5. We don't yet have a pet need Bubba, and I think that needs to change.
6. It's almost the same as grandchildren (right, Moms?)
7. My car slumps to one side with just Barkley and me in it...I need to even that out.
8. Deters burglars.
9. Barkley has extra dog food.
10. Gizmo likes dogs.

So, what do you think? Ginger???

Or Naya??

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Over my spring break, I read and watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. I was interested to read Breakfast at Tiffany's since I had just finished In Cold Blood, which is also by Truman Capote.
I love Capote's style of writing in both books, but the subject matter differs so immensely that it is hard to tell they were written by the same guy.
Let me just say that the novel (actually more of a novella) is awesome. I just loved the description and felt a love/hate relationship with the main character, Holly Golightly, immediately. You just have to love to hate her by the end of the novel.
Don't even get me started on the movie. Luckily, I saw that AFTER I read the book. Obviously, it made me want to put on sunglasses, pearls, and a little black dress so that I could go walking around downtown looking like Audrey Hepburn. But, that was the best part. The filmmaker totally ruined the ending, and I can see why Capote was furious. I would be too if someone did that to my book. Audrey Hepburn is just so perfect and cute though...it may be worth watching just to see her.

News From Last Night

Brian and Angela tied the knot.















Chip likes to look like he is going to lick people.

I do not think this is okay.

Daryl is growing a mustache!

My dad and brother have joined a gang.

We left the wedding before my grandparents did.

What is Happening to Me?

Today I was driving to work and I had to come to a conclusion that I didn't like. I was enjoying listening to a song by the Barenaked Ladies. I cranked up "Pinch Me" and sang at the top of my lungs so that all the other drivers on I-94 would look at me weird (which they did). Then, my exit came, the song ended, I had to see that guy that stands at the top of my exit ramp with his giant sign that says he's a disabled vet and that no, your money won't go for drugs or alcohol. For God's sake. Why couldn't the song last a little longer?
Here's the rub. I've always loathed BNL (aside from "If I had a Million Dollars"). Maybe it's because of the one guy's voice or the fact that they have a song called "Be My Yoko Ono," which runs into a whole other topic of things I don't like. What's going on here? Why the sudden change? Will it be like in college when I hated, hated, hated Our Lady Peace and then decided to go buy their CD? Hm...
Here's the BNL lyrics that I sang the loudest to:
On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I packed the car and leave this town
Will you notice that I'm not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'underwear'
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway.
It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
realize that a guy my size might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.

I have another conundrum. I was listening to "My Humps" on the way home from class. Why can't I turn that song off? It's degrading, derogatory, and dumb. The three D's. But I sing to that too. The best line is, "What you gon' do wit all that breast? All that breast inside that shirt?" What kind of a question is that?? If you have never read the lyrics to "My Humps," you must. It's an experience you must have before you die. And you can help me figure out why I don't turn off the song.

Ha Ha....Do you want to hear the karaoke version???

Since I'm putting on all these song links, here's one for Holly.

Funny

This is a video called "Free Photo Booth." It is very funny. Clicking on the link will take you to a Google video site.

Sometimes I Feel I've Got to Run Away...

I need to be rescued from the horrible music. I'm sorry but "Tainted Love" is a classic that should not be messed with. What is this? Stop it.
Oh, now that I'm online looking for the song, I've found that it's been copied several times. Soft Cell, I don't care how poor you are. Stop licensing your song to crappy artists!

The Original

The Craptastic Version

Marilyn Manson??

The Living End (Who I love, but should not be redoing this song either)

AHHHHH!!! I Didn't Even KNOW About THIS ONE. This MIGHT be worse than Rihanna's version

I have to picture Kelly being sung to by Tom N. up at MSU when I hear the real version of the song. "Don't touch me please; I cannot stand the way you tease..." Ha ha ha.

The Sistas

A List of Reasons Why I Love My Sistas:
1. They each have a good sense of humor.
2. They love the Sims almost as much as I do.
3. They help me to to keep the brothers under control (which is not an easy job).
4. What other sistas do I have? :-)
5. They both love this song (and I do too).
6. They are almost crazy as I am.
7. They love to dance.
8. They understand.
9. They introduced me to the wonderful world of pedicures.
10. They are just plain awesome.

P.S. If you're a sista, click here.

New Feature

If you'll draw your eyes over to the side bar, you will notice a new feature. I thought it would be cool to have a list of books I am currently reading. Well, actually, I started out believing that there would only be one. Then, I got to thinking and realized that I am currently reading five books. So, there you go. Life of an English teacher, I guess. Oh, wait. Mr. Dickens has something to say:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

In other news, the wasps are back. I can see them out the window. You may remember references to wasps in an earlier posting entitled "I Hate Bugs". Well, it's the 2nd warm day of the year here in Michigan, and here they are. They are so bold that they are flying into the window *SMACK* and taunting me.

Dear Cricket

I should apologize for the jab at Pepper's outfit the other day. I have forgotten that I once dressed my Barkley up for Halloween. The next day she ate the outfit (oh, that's one that I forgot to put on the list I sent to Daryl's mom). So, I don't think she liked it. She was a Bark-a-Shark.
I've never quite figured out why the outfit has little arms. I guess the shark has supposedly eaten someone.

Hoppin' Down the Bunny Trail

My mom has gone Easter overboard. I begged her not to, but she has put Pepper into her baby chick costume early this year. Poor Pepper! She'll be wearing it from now until Easter.

Mexico

I was just looking back at the blog and I realized that I never told you anything about our trip to Mexico. We saw a baracuda while we swimming, and we got bitten by some fire ants. That's about the only bad things that happened. Oh, wait. Someone got murdered at our resort while we were there.

Two Canadian tourists killed in Mexican resort
Updated Wed. Feb. 22 2006 6:13 AM ET
CTV.ca News Staff
Two Canadian tourists, who were in Mexico for their daughter's wedding, were found brutally murdered in their hotel room one day before the nuptials.
"Foreign Affairs has been informed yesterday of the death of a Canadian couple," Pamela Greenwell, Foreign Affairs spokesperson told CTV.ca on Tuesday night.
"Contact has been established with accompanying family in order to offer consular assistance," she said, adding that Mexican authorities have launched an investigation into their deaths.
Local papers say Domenico Ianiero, a 59-year-old real estate agent, and his 55-year-old wife Annunziata, also known as Nancy, were discovered slain in their hotel room on Monday morning, their throats slit by a knife, execution-style.
According to unconfirmed local reports, the bodies were found after family members became concerned when they were unable to locate the couple.
It's believed nothing was stolen from the Ianiero's room, nor were there signs of forced entry.
The Woodbridge, Ont. couple was staying at the luxurious Barcelo Maya hotel, which is located some 20 kilometres south of Playa del Carmen.
The hotel's general manager told CTV's Scott Laurie that he could not give out any further information about the murders.
"It's pretty clear from walking in the lobby that there is an increased security presence there. There were a lot of people walking around, not in uniform but in walkie talkies, clearly keeping track of who is coming and going from the hotel," Laurie reported from Playa del Carmen.
Authorities have questioned sixteen Canadians in Mexico, who were travelling with the couple for the wedding, which was scheduled for Tuesday.
It's unclear the role Canadian authorities will play in the investigation.
"The Mexican police naturally have prime jurisdiction in the area, so in the end we must leave it to them," said Dave Harris, the former chief of strategic planning for CSIS.
"But they have every incentive to be co-operative because when you think about it a good deal of Mexico's income does come from tourism and Canadians are considerable contributors to that influx," Harris said, appearing on CTV Newsnet.
Meanwhile, news of the couple's deaths have left neighbours and co-workers reeling.
"He is not the type of person that this should actually happen to," said Vince Carere of Domenico Ianiero, who he worked with at HomeLife Real Estate.
One neighbour, who described the couple as "smiling" and "friendly," told CTV Toronto: "We were shocked. I don't even know what words I can say to describe what we felt."

Yeah, so everything else was fine though. Why is it that evilness seems to follow me around lately? Weird.

Devil

I was just looking around at this website about Koko, a gorilla who knows sign language. You can browse around and see photos of Koko making her 48 very most favorite signs, one of which is devil. So, I began wondering: When did the need arise to teach Koko the word devil? Just something to ponder...

Uncle Walt

When I Heard the Learned Astronomer
by Walt Whitman

When I heard the learn'd astronomer,
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,
When I was shown the charts and diagrams, to add, divide,
and measure them,
When I sitting heard the astronomer where he lectured with
much applause in the lecture-room,
How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,
Till rising and gliding out I wander'd off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars.

Time Out

Are today's parents feeding their children speed? Just asking.
Today I had to give the 8th Grade Computer Proficiency Examination. Oh, what fun. These are the days that I would like to be paid as much as the lovely person who created the 8th Grade Computer Proficiency Examination. I would also like power to permanently relieve that person from their work duties. I'm not sure that it tested anyone's ability to operate a computer as much as it tested my own patience.
The test consisted of a full page of instructions. As you may know from recently visiting any movie theater with teenage patrons, kids cannot follow even the simplest of instructions. Even on a normal day when I ask that they open their book to page 324, I must repeat myself 4 or 5 times. Even then, I'm lucky if half of them have their books out. I was instructed not to help the kids with any part of the instructions as this was part of the test. They began by playing along nicely. "Listen up, kids. This is important," I announce. Josh stop clicking your mouse and listen.
"I am (CLICK, CLICK, CLICKITY CLICK). "
"Okay, Josh. Just remember that you will live your life in computer purgatory if you don't pass this test."
"What's purgatory?"
"Never mind."
"This test is important. You see, if you don't pass the powers that be will take away your elective classes...art, pastries (yes, we have a pastries class), small engine repair...and they will replace that elective with Computers for Dummies. So, if you don't want to be in Computers for Dummies, you need to follow directions and do everything perfectly. Yes, Amanda. You have a question."
"What if we like make like one mistake? Do they like put us in the stupid computer class?"
"Yes, I'm afraid they will. They're very mean."
The class nods gravely. They understand that their future happiness is on the line. I explain that they need to read the sheet on their own and follow directions carefully. "Do you understand?" Nod, nod, nod. Yes teacher, you are very boring, let's go. Their fingers are twitching. They're ready to start. "Okay, get started."
Thirty seconds elapse.
"Oh, Eric. You have a question already? What do you need?"
"Can we start?"
You can probably guess how my day went. Spring break cannot come fast enough. I have to give parts 2 and 3 of this stupid thing tomorrow. Today's song (I wish).
The kid's song about me.

P.S. Photo is not of my actual students, but it resembles my students very much.

P.P.S Do not look up "bored students" on Yahoo image search (in case you were just about to do that). "Boring class" yields much better and cleaner results.

My Ears Hurt

I feel like I just got home from Angela's bachelorette party. Oh, wait. That's cause I just did. I got home at 4:00am. That's a new record for my 26 year old body. Which reminds me, I still need to make coffee. And go back to sleep because I feel like the walking dead.
Well, I've seen a lot of scary, crazy stuff in my night clubbing days. There was the guy in Chicago who got smacked over the head with a bottle and the crazy drug deals I saw in Mt. Clemens, but last night had to take the cake. First, I have to point out that I have an eye for trouble when I'm at the bar. I think it comes partly from having a husband in law enforcement and partly from years of teaching high school. I am always on patrol and it was no differnt last night at Club Envy in Detroit. Anyways, I noticed something was not right. People were terribly drunk. Falling over and that kind of thing, so I knew there would be trouble somewhere very soon. I began watching the stairs to the "VIP room," which according to the people filing up and down the stairs was based on how much money you show the bouncers rather than any kind of good looks. So, I'm looking at the stairs and people are coming down, down, down in a hurry. I looked at the girl next to me. Is there a fire up there or something? She, unlike me, did not have a nose for trouble and did not care. The bouncers started scrambling around. Then, came the guy in the torn up shirt. Okay, maybe no fire, but definitely a fight I thought. We were sitting on a couch and suddenly someone (a bouncer, a bartender??) came over and jumped on the table in front of us waving his arms trying to get the DJ to cut the music. I look over at my group who along with the other club goers cannot believe they are turning on the lights and cutting the music. To them, the party was being cut unfairly short, to me this was a sign that something majorly bad was happening. I'm a panicer, so I was just ready to go, go, go. Suddenly we are informed by Angela's step mom that our limo is out front and that we are to book it to the limo because there is fighting going on outside. So out we go. Through the front door, past the fighting inside only to find that things are much, much worse outside. There are about 10 Detroit police cars, CAUTION TAPE(!), and a blood splattered limo in front of us as we walk out the door. Our poor limo driver looks completely paniced and we run toward the limo cautiously going around the small puddles of blood on the sidewalk. The other girls reported seeing a blood covered guy, but I didn't see him. Gee, I don't know what was distracting me.
It's almost ironic though because right before all this happened, I was thinking, "Hey, Detroit has really cleaned up its act. I'm downtown, I ain't scrd." No. No. No. That was some crazy crap right there. Holy cow.
I have to say that although the club has a nasty fight club thing going on, they play good music. I am happy to report that they played "Laffy Taffy." If you have read all of my prior blogs, you know this one is a favorite. They also play "Here Come the Hotstepper," which I love because I dance to it just like I'm a hotstepper. Kelly knows all about that. THat song is so old I almost forgot about it.
Hey, I was just looking for links to my songs up above and I found this one. This is such a stupid song (with a stupid video), but I love it. Another one here...how are these all on the same CD??
Sincerely,
The Lyrical Gangsta

Songs

I like to put songs on my blog for your entertainment pleasure. Here are some that I love and just think are funny. I had to make a special posting for songs because they didn't fit anywhere else and I couldn't think of anything else to say about them.

This is me everyday.
I like this song because it reminds me of my job which is funny unto itself. Why anyone would put me in charge of a bunch of kids...I have no clue.

For those depressing days.
I like this song because it reminds me of my and Kelly's dream of singing kareoke (no idea how to spell this Japanese trend).

Song I cannot wait to rock out to.
As I've said before this song rocks. I wish they would play it next time I'm out at the club.

Speaking of...
I'll be there wit my bottle full of bub.

A List of Things I Secretly Don't Believe (or don't want to)

Here goes....
1. That my cat weighs 17.4 pounds.
2. That when you use Dawn dishwashing liquid the bubbles turn into little vacuum cleaners that suck up all the grease.
3. That the Woman with a 200 Pound Tumor show is on AGAIN tonight.
4. How long it's been since I've cleaned my house (no, I'm not telling).
5. That "The Simple Life" is now rerunning on E!.
6. And that I've been watching it.
7. That one of my teaching partners once shot a man trying to rob him by taking the robber's gun away from him (I've heard him tell the story twice now).
8. That one of my teaching partners (same one) is actually going to physical therapy each time he leaves the building saying, "I'm off to physical therapy."
9. That he once took an 8th grade boy to get tested for STDs with the boy's parents' blessing.
10. That he sings in a gospel choir downtown.
11. That he was once a raging alcoholic, in the army, an engineer, a principal, a notary public, an attorney, a grief counselor, and a loving father (not all at the same time, obviously).
12. That I have held myself back from calling this guy out on all his lies.
13. That I am 26 years old.
14. That it's 8:17 P.M. and Daryl still isn't home (even though he left for work at 6:00ish A.M.)
15. That anyone buys exercise videos from John Basedow...He's gonna show you how...to meet your potential...and turn your whole life around...(sing it with me) IT'S FITNESS MADE SIMPLE...la da dee da duh...

Okay. Okay. I'm Back.

Wow. I did not blog for a very long time, and I apologize to those of you who are avid blog readers. I wanted to get on here and blog about my trip to Mexico, but then I had a giant paper due, so then I was gonna write about it after that, but then it seemed too late. And my life has been downright boring (and depressing...I'm in Michigan and not somewhere warm like Mexico) since then.
Let's just talk now about my impact on the world. That's right. MY WORLD DOMINATING IMPACT. Muhhahahhaaa. At last count I have inspired six people to create their own blogs and one to create her own picture page (okay maybe Daryl was responsible for that inspiration). Two of these people have only ever posted one posting (PAUL and MONTY!!!) so I am very sad about that. Others have created wonderful pieces of artistic regalia with their blog. My mom's is very funny (at least I think it's funny). You may view it by clicking on the link to the right. Vanilla Dan's umm... well..... Vanilla Dan's is threatening in that if you don't post comments to his blog you may get threatening comments posted on yours in return. (Please see elephant blog below). I'm not here to tell you where to take your grand Sandy inspiration, but I am here to tell you how important it is to update your blog more than once (PAUL and MONTY!!!) and not be threatening.
Daryl is home from work now. I should go feed him lasagna.