My big fat giant paper is due tomorrow. So, this is classic Sandy. I am such a procrastinator. My paper is called, "Reading Choice in the Middle School Classroom." I am thinking of changing it to "The Metacognitive Effects of Independently Read Texts in the Adolescent Learning Environment." What do you think? I am planning to talk about "standard deviation" and "n=" and all the other things that professors like. Before long, my coffee will wear off, and as usual I will wake up at 4:00 AM to finish my paper, go to work, edit after work, then send it in the email to my professor. Cuz that's how I roll.
New topic. My mom has made a hobby of posting fake Christmas gifts on her website. She picks out funny things for Paul, Daryl, and me. When she isn't busy finding and posting these ridiculous gifts, she spends her time asking me if I've checked to see my new gift yet. What she doesn't know is that I would actually use the gift that she has up right now so maybe it's not so funny. Here it is:
What she doesn't know is that I would not put the dog in it. I would put the cat in there and roll her around the neighborhood. I might put the horns on her too and maybe even wear horns myself. She would like that. Then, she would probably get home and bite me. Cuz that's how she rolls.
I have to tell you how this whole Christmas gift fiasco started. You see, it's been a favorite pastime for my mom and me to find the most hideous item in the weekly circulars and say, "That's what I'm getting you for _______." You can just fill in whatever the most appropriate holiday is in the blank there. Generally, there's good stuff in the jewelry section of the Sear's flyer. My mom has obviously taken this game to a whole new level though. So here....drum roll
please.... is what I know my mom desperately desires to get for Christmas. You can bet your buttons that it will make it's way to her stocking on December 25.....She has always wanted a "Kenneth" ID bracelet. Haven't you? Okay, okay. Time to get serious. What would mom really like to see in her stocking on Christmas Day? I'll give you one hint (okay.. a couple). She sees him every single night. He's a really good cook. He eats ham. He's really funny (to my mom at least).... Give up?
Alton Brown!!! Har har har....
Look how handsome. See the way his brow scrunches up? That's because he's so serious about food. I put his picture up REALLY LARGE for you, mom. When he's not wearing his super cool sexy shades, he has dork glasses. Sorry, mom, but he does. Here he is in his dork glasses.
I don't know what the heck's wrong with the photo, but you can see his dork glasses, and that's all that matters. (Capital letter compound sentence comma conjunction end punctuation) I need to go write my paper now.
No comments:
Post a Comment