Best. Photostory. Ever.

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Oh, Blog. I'm So Sorry.

It's been awhile, hasn't it? I guess having two kids and whatnot ate my brain a bit and made me forget to blog. Either that or I haven't thought of any snazzy witticisms to write about.

I don't know if anyone else has already thought of this theory, but I have a theory about dragons. I thought of it yesterday during yoga, which is technically bad because you're not supposed to be thinking of anything during yoga. If that's true, I don't know why they call the poses things like fire-breathing dragon because that just begs for your mind to wander off and think about the origin of dragons.

While I was in the fire-breathing dragon pose, I wondered to myself if way back when some ancient Chinese hiker found a dinosaur skeleton out in the woods and thought, "What is this?" I shall draw a picture of it and call it a dragon. And it shall be awesome, so it will breathe fire.

I mean, really, how else would someone think up a dragon?

The Airport

For me, the airport still holds some novelty. That's probably because I don't get to go anywhere all that often. I don't even mind showing up early for a flight because it gives me a little time to take it all in.

My absolute favorite part of the airport is hands-down the moving sidewalks. I am not generally a fast person. In the animal world, I would have been one of those poor gazelles that gets caught and eaten by a tiger. But with the moving sidewalk, all that changes. I love to look at the wall as I'm walking down the moving sidewalk and pretend that I am receiving no assistance from the sidewalk. For once in my life, I am fast. Certainly, I am faster than all the crazy people who stand STAND to the right of the moving sidewalk. And I am most certainly faster than those bores who walk on the normal floor next to the moving sidewalk. Obviously, they have no need for speed in their sorry little lives. If I could, I would run down the moving sidewalk because I'm sure that would be the thrill of my life, but I'm pretty sure they might keep me off my flight if I tried that.

The airport is the only place I can think of where you'll find grown men and women racing to pile their belongings into a plastic tray while simultaneously removing their belts and shoes. I have to admit that I don't normally notice the awkwardness of it all when I'm in the midst of it because it is so fast paced. I always find my bin has nearly crept inside the x-ray machine before I get all my junk inside of it. Then, I get a little nervous because here I am on the WRONG side and all my stuff has made it through and some random businessman on the other side may be claiming it as his own. Who I am to tell? I can't see past all the gadgetry to monitor my stuff...which is, of course, the first rule at the airport: Watch your stuff. The lady, I'm sure she's the same one that used to tell time on the telephone when you dialed GRA-NDMA, reminds you to never ever, ever let your bags out of your sight several times an hour over the loudspeaker. Yet, this is exactly what you must do when you go through security. When I finally clear security and am lacing up my shoes on the other end, I have to admit that I feel dirty. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's something about taking off my shoes and belt and jacket in a public place while disobeying the lady over the loudspeaker.

I have some recommendations on how to improve the airport, too. I have noticed that there are not many clocks. Maybe..sometimes...they will stick the time up on the big monitor at the gate telling you what time your flight is supposed to leave (yeah right), but that really does me no good when I'm in the bathroom or waiting in line to buy a magazine. I have come to the conclusion that this is planned so that maybe you'll forget how late your flight is and not complain too much. I would also like the American airports to take a hint from the Mexican airports. Where is my beer stand when I arrive? Where are the throngs of people begging me to let them take me wherever I may want to go. Of course, all that without the heavily armed guards would be a plus.

Experiment

I don't know if it's the snow plows driving down the street, or if I've been reading too much Twilight, but I've been inspired. You know when you're listening to the radio and a really sappy love song comes on? So, I have two responses to this. One response is the one I do when I'm all by myself in the car. I turn the song up really loud and then sing and then get embarrassed and then stop and turn the channel because the song is really mushy and I feel like I'm moments away from becoming a total doofus. My other response happens when Daryl's in the car with me. If he's in the car, I crank up the song and sing out of tune really, really loud. In all fairness, out of tune is really the only way I can truly sing anyways, but I go more out of tune on purpose. And I look over at him during the most poignant parts of the song. When he tries to turn the station, I usually comment about how he must not like my singing, then I continue to torture him some more.

So, I don't know what my problem is, but I was thinking that maybe one whole mushy love song is maybe a little too much for me. So, I took all my favorite love songs and chopped them up into more tolerable pieces and fashioned my own love song. It's nice, if I do say so myself.

If Daryl's lucky, I'll come up with a melody and sing it for him on Valentine's Day next year to make up for my non-gift-giving this year.

Love Song #37:

When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
Now, I'll never dance with another
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
And who would've thought what they said was true
But it was and you are light and darkness coming through
We were both young when I first saw you
They buy me all these icees
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you
bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
this world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me


"That's a pretty good." -Strongbad

Martha, My Dear

I love nothing else more than people who rile up Martha Stewart. It's possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. And I love Joel McHale. And, if you've never seen Amy Sedaris...well, here's your chance. Amy is David Sedaris' sister, and she's just as funny. Don't you dare ask me who David Sedaris is.

Amanda's List

My friend Amanda made herself a crazy list of 1,000 things she wants to do by May 1st or something. I guess she did this because she has all kinds of free time now that she has baby-o-rama going on at her house. I don't know.

But as soon as I saw that nonsense, I told her to stop it right away. It's not that I'm averse to getting things on a list done, but this list was like some kind of list you might put together if you had spent all day at the engineering building at MSU and came home and were still in that mode of thinking. All people MSU will know what I'm talking about here.

So, I offered to make her a new list. This list, I think, is more practical and certainly more fun. You won't find any rubbish about saving money or buying a new pair of sensible shoes on this list. No, this is far more daring and exhilarating.

1. Find the tallest tree in your neighborhood. That way, when people come to your house, you can say, "Did you notice the tallest tree in our neighborhood?" I'll tell you right now that nobody will notice because people (unfortunately) are not usually that perceptive. Then, when they tell you no, you can point and say, "Yeah, it's that one over there."
   
   
2. Plan a day to clean the gutters on your house. Tell everybody that the day you've planned is gutter cleaning day. Make a big deal out of it. You could even send out an email. Then, when gutter cleaning day comes, get a ladder and go up on your roof. Then, take off your clothes to reveal your new snazzy bathing suit. And then get out your secret stash of suntan lotion. And then just lay out in the sun all day. When the day is over, come down off the roof and tell everyone it was a lot of hard work and the reason you're all hot and sweaty is that you were trying to get all this junk unstuck from the gutters. Then just go lie down and say that you're tired and need a nap. People will feel really sorry for you.
   
   
3. Come to Michigan and go real sledding. I almost cried when I saw the Texas sledding video.
   
   
4. Go to this website. It cleanses your soul and clears your mind.
   
   
5. Clean your house and get everything put away. Then, call someone from the National Association of Professional Organizers and ask then to come by and give you an estimate on how much it would cost to tidy up your house. Really talk your house up on the phone like it's really, really awful. Ask questions like, "What about if I just put all of the pizza boxes from the last five years in my closet? Then what?" or "How do you dispose of sour cream containers that have been left out on the counter for like...35 weeks?" or "I know I've heard of black mold, but what if it's magenta?" or "Do they sell things for like throwing away dirty baby diapers? We just put them all in the attic." Then, when they get to your house, be like...what?
   
   
6. Walk by a karate studio that has a big window out to the parking lot, and when the people inside look out at you, pretend to be a ninja. I did that the other day. Daryl was scared for my safety, but it was lots of fun.
   
   
7. Tell everybody that you smashed your car up and it's in the shop. Then, go and rent a Porshe and then when people ask, tell them that's what the rental shop gave you because they were fresh out of Ford Focuses. Drive it around for a week or two. Oh yeah, it should be yellow.
   
   
8. Give a little money to charity. What did you expect? You need to do something to make up for all the lying you'll be doing throughout the rest of this list.
   
   
9. You're going to need to take a few days off of work for this one. Read Twilight. Then, you'll of course want to read the next book and you will be addicted and...well, you need to take a few days off of work for that.
   
   
10. Listen to this song. Because how can you not be in a good mood when this song is on? Bobbyitsaybobbyiton.
    

Substitutions Not Okay

My dad likes to say that the definition of a fool is someone who does the same thing, the same way multiple times and expects different results. By this definition, I am many times over, a fool. However, there is one area of my life where I particularly stand out as a fool. This is in the area of planning for dinner.

Years and years ago, I mostly turned to my friend Betty Crocker for cooking advice. She offers solid, dependable recipes and clear step by step instructions. What a good cooking pal! Recently, however, I have adopted a new approach to cooking and meal planning that oftentimes waste a good hour of my life with nothing to show for it. Here's how my new approach works.

First, I usually see a commercial for some kind of delicious dish on television. Potato soup from Bennagin's? Yum. I want that. So, then I decide to cook it myself. Instead of turning to Betty, I go to www.allrecipes.com expecting to find the perfect recipe. Sometimes I do, and it works out really well. It's the actual process of searching through the recipes posted on the website that I expect to be simple, but it never is. I'll type in Potato Soup, for example, and find 1,245 recipes for Potato soup. Where to start? Well, I entrust my dining satisfaction to the allrecipe.com reviews, so I click "sort by reviews," which lets me see the best of the best recipes. All is well so far. But, how do you distinguish between the potato soup that gets 4.25 stars versus 4.27 stars? I like to click and read the individual reviewer's comments. Herein lies the problem. Usually, what I see is something like this, "I made this soup for my family and they ate it up like wild hyenas. But when I made it, I was out of potatoes, so I used mangos instead. Also, my husband doesn't like the taste of pepper or cheese, so I added bananas and whipped cream. Yummy! Will definitely make this dish again."

What? Listen, reviewer, you have no business commenting on the potato soup. That comment does me no good.

Somehow, though, I always forget about these comments and expect allrecipes.com to be helpful. When will I ever learn?

To prove that I'm not even lying, here are actual comments from the site:

A great way to use up leftovers, you could use chicken, beef, pork whatever. I had some leftover pork roast, so I simmered the diced pork in 6 oz of beer and the water in from the recipe for 15 minutes. Then I followed the receipt except I used black beans, didn't have pintos. WOW this was just great will make it again. OH yea I added the last 6 oz of beer into the pot as it simmered.

I used the frosting recipe, but only used 1 C. sugar. This turned out great. The store was out of german choco. squares so I bought a german choco. box cake. I modified it by making it a bundt recipe (a more dense cake) by using 1 sm. pkt. instant choco. pudding, 4 eggs, 1/2 C. oil, and 1 C. water. Spread evenly in 2 round pans and bake as instructed on box. I used instant chocolate mousse for the sides and decoration. It gave the cake additional flavor and texture. Who needs ice cream when you have chocolate mousse.

I prefer to follow recipe as written, I did not have any pork, I had left over chicken and took the advice of previous poster and used celery and onion, did not have cabbage. I steamed one batch, and then brown the next batch in a pan and then steamed. My DD prefered steamed ones. Also I halved the recipe.

Yeah, it's called go to the store.

How Duncan Does Ball Pits

Today is Duncan's birthday. We got him a ball pit for his birthday. Since he's one, we didn't feel the need to wrap it. We sat there and blew it up in front of him (it's inflatable...it doubles as a pool). He didn't have any clue that it was even his birthday or that this was his present. I'm pretty sure he didn't even know it was a ball pit. That's the good part about being one.

So, here's how he does the ball pit now that he's had about an hour of practice:
1. Climb in head first.
2. Sit in the middle of the balls feeling blissfully happy for about 30 seconds.
3. Tip the ball pit over and let all the balls spill out.
4. Climb out.
5. Play with all 75 balls outside of the ball pit until they have all rolled under the couch or chair or until the dogs begin to cart them away.
You're welcome for Pac Man, by the way.

When Fish Attack

Some people thinking swimming in lakes is fun...even relaxing. I used to think so too. Last weekend we went to Daryl's grandma's cottage for a little R&R. It turns out that the fish in the lake had a hidden agenda. They were out to get me. Maybe they could smell my fishing license a mile away. Maybe they just had a hunger for some human flesh. Whatever the reason, the fish took up their welcome mat and slammed the door in my face when I tried to enter their domain.


It started off a day like any other. Tania and I were hot as always...but this time we were hot with one t instead of two. We decided to go for a dip. If there's one thing I don't like, it's lake muck. In fact, I think that every lake should come with one of these:



And this:


So anyway, I wanted to avoid standing in the lake muck, so I got on a floatie. It was a nice little innertube, and I floated around enjoying the water for about 30 seconds. And then I floated too close to the boat dock and a fish came out from the boat dock and somehow got stuck between my leg and the innertube. So what does it do? It starts beating my leg with its fish tail. I screamed like a girl for all I was worth and the fish swam away.

To help you better understand the attack, I have done two things for you here. First, I have recreated the scene in Paint using my fine artist ability. For some reason, I had to keep retelling the saga for Holly and Tania because they just couldn't understand how the fish tail was smacking my leg. So, I hope this helps. Secondly, I have found a picture of what I think the fish may have looked like. Here is exhibit A and B:


















I got out of the water as fast as I could, but then I got my bravery all up and got back in and I stayed far away from the boat dock. In fact, I thought it would be a good idea to latch onto Tania's raft and have her pull me around. Turns out that was a really good idea if you don't count the horrendous guilt I felt when Tania's shoulders were sore the next day from towing me around the lake.

If you know anything about my stories, you can be sure this one doesn't end here. The next day Dan drove us to this beach-like island so we could go swimming. I'll admit that the bottom was nice and I also enjoyed the island entertainment. The entertainment mainly consisted of these kids excavating under this giant tree...basically trying to dig out all the earth from underneath it so that it would fall on them and crush them. Now that I think about it, it wasn't very good entertainment at all. It was just one of those things that you watch even though you probably shouldn't. Oh, and the kids' dad just stood there and watched them in this death trap.

Anywho, getting on to my next fish attack..... I was in the tube again. (Big mistake, of course.) I suddenly feel a fish on my leg. I look down and see a fish caught again in the tube next to my leg. So I try to get out of the tube, but you know that getting out of one of those things is next to impossible...especially when you're hurrying and being attacked by a fish. So, I looked down again to see if the fish had gotten out and I saw its little beady eye staring up at me. Daryl was standing right there, but he was of no help except to verify my story for the disbelievers....I don't want to name names here.


















Why do fish attack me? There are several theories, but the one that seems to make the most sense is that I kept hooking fish through the eye while I was fishing. I'll admit that it wasn't very nice of me to do that, but an all out fish war is a little uncalled for, don't you think?

Does Anyone Else Hate Anthony Kiedis as Much as I Do?

So, I turned on my radio this morning and I got all excited because I heard a Tom Petty song coming on and then I realized that it wasn't Tom Petty at all but that stupid Red Hot Chili Pepper rip-off. Has Tom Petty gotten around to suing Anthony and Flea yet? What's he waiting for? He should sue the pants off of that jerk. The songs sound exactly the same except for Tom Petty's rocks my socks off and Anthony Kiedas' sounds like a llama that's dying.




Such atrocity has not been committed since En Vogue stole Alice Cooper's "Feed My Frankenstein".




There are rare occasions where it really is okay for a musician to steal other people's music. Like George Harrison should be allowed to steal anybody's music that he wants to. Especially crappy Doo Wop music. But what happens when he steals a song? He gets in all kinds of trouble. Poor George. We love your song much more, George.

By the way, this clip is from the Concert for George and can I just say that whole concert is madness. Absolutely excellent...the whole thing. I have it on DVD and I make Duncan watch it while I cook dinner a lot. He loves Ringo Starr.

Go to Kmart and Buy a Skateboard

Apparently there is a new "sport"--a term I'm using very loosely--for people who desperately want a skateboard but somehow can't find one or afford one. It is called Parkour....or maybe Parkouring. Who knows. Well, if any of you poor souls in this video would like a skateboard, please let me know and I'll see what Santa can do this Christmas.

A New Resolution

I always seem to make summer resolutions. Maybe it's because it's warm and beautiful out during the summer and just about anything seems possible. I hardly ever make a new year's resolution because I just don't ever keep them. New year's is a stupid time to make a resolution if you ask me.

Usually my resolutions for summer include how many books I want to read. They also usually include a goal to do some unit planning for school. I have a goal this summer to paint the front porch because it is all pealy and yucky and the neighbors are starting to talk (conjecture only). Okay. Maybe I don't have resolutions as much as I have goals. So, anyways, I have decided that I should throw in a fun and interesting goal as well. I wanted to do something I've never done before but always wanted to do. With an 8 month old baby and having taken 8 months off of word, going to Europe is pretty much out of the question.

So, I had to ask myself....what have I always wanted to do that I can learn to do with very few resources? Then it came to me. I will learn how to do the splits! I've never been even a little bit flexible, so the people that can do the splits make me jealous. I found a page online that claims that you can learn to do the splits in 3 weeks. The page doesn't include any riders about age, so I think I'm good to go. So, when July 22 rolls around, I will update you on my progress. I am so excited. How ridiculous am I?

Tattoo You

So, I was reading my Sunday morning Free Press the other morning and saw that the new cool, hip, hot trend is getting your baby's picture tattooed on your body. The Free Press featured this photo of someone's arm(?) and their sweet little salty peanut:

Aww....how cute is that? I'm sure Salty Peanut will be so proud when her mom can whip out the tattoo and show all of her friends at her 16th birthday party or at her high school graduation.

I really think that Duncan deserves no less than the best from his parents. He certainly shouldn't feel left out when such a cool new trend is on the horizon, so I have decided to endure the pain and suffering of the local ink shop's needle to get a tattoo of my own. I have decided to get it on my belly. There are several reasons for this. First off, it will hide my unsightly stretch marks. Second, I think it will look awesome when it's all stretched out if I ever decide to have another baby.

Okay. I have to admit that when I started writing this blog, I was hoping to have a picture that would be just as ridiculous as the salty peanut picture, but Duncan's picture just doesn't look the same. That's probably good though. :-)

Niagara Falls is Ridiculous

I just realized that I promised to update you on our trip to Connecticut and then bailed on my promise. Sorry. Here's the update. All went much better than expected with Duncan. We probably had a total in-car cry time of 73 minutes, which is not too bad for 22 hours of driving (not counting stops at restaurants and hotels). Our visit with Daryl's aunt and uncle was also very nice. Duncan got to go to the beach. What a spoiled baby!




On the way home from Connecticut, we stopped at Niagara Falls. We got there at night and decided to stay at a hotel so that we could see the falls at night with the colored lights and during the day...um..with the big yellow light. The night we arrived, we walked the ten minute walk to the falls and were quite surprised to find that we had somehow teleported to Las Vegas.... Oh wait, nope, we were still in Niagara Falls. What is going on with Canada? What is all this crap?



Luckily, the craziness stops when you get down to the falls and then it's really beautiful. When you actually see the falls in person, it is hard to believe that even the dumbest of knuckleheads would ever contemplate trying to go over them in a barrel let alone actually try it. So much water going oh so fast.

Of course, we went back in the day time to see if the falls looked any cooler, and of course, they did. On our way out of the hotel, Daryl and I noticed that there was a nice view of the falls out the window at the end of the hallway. But wait, what is that sticking up high into the air? An observation tower? Oh, no...that's the WWE Pile-Driver ride. What was I thinking? Why shouldn't the WWE Pile-Driver be impeding my view of one of nature's most awesome spectacles? (Check out the picture to your left. Yup, that's it next to the Hard Rock sign.)

After taking our daytime trip to the falls, we were walking back to the car, we had to walk up the crazy street with all the neon lights. It was daytime, so the neon wasn't nearly as crazy. But there was one thing that was really crazy. There were Mennonites all over the place! Eating ice cream, starring at all the signs for the wax museums, looking ponderously at the Pile-Driver ride. The Mennonites were quizzical to be sure. I wanted to run up and grab one of them by his beard and say...."NOOOOO!!! This isn't it. This isn't really how all of contemporary society is. We DON'T have WWE Pile-Driver rides on every corner normally. This is not normal." But I didn't. I let them wonder. I let them eat their ice creams in peace. I really wanted to take a picture too. But, I restrained myself. Everyone would have accused me of photoshopping it anyway.

What the Kids are Watching

I always thought that Teletubbies was the scariest kids show on television. I guess it wouldn't be so scary if it wasn't aimed at kids. Little did I know, there is a much, much more frightening show on these days. I came across is while searching for something for Duncan to watch while I was trying to prepare my lunch (please see my last blog and you'll understand why he needs to be entertained while I'm in the kitchen). The show is called Boohbah and I think the show could best be described as is "trippy." I don't know about you, but I don't think our kids need to be watching anything trippy when they're preschool aged...or probably any age for that matter.

From what I can discern, the main characters are the Boohbah and they seem to speak a similar language to the Teletubbies (maybe they're relatives?). They seem to live in nests and have some sort of physic/alien quality to them that makes their heads pop up and their eyes light up.

My favorite character on Boohbah BY FAR is Mr. Man. This is Mr. Man:



























Nice shirt, Mr. Man.

My second favorite character is Grandmamma. Grandmamma looks like she's been through some pretty tough times. Maybe Grandmamma went through rehab a few times or did a stint in the slammer.
Here she is:


























Here's a fashion tip for you, Grandmamma: Buy your clothes two sizes smaller. And no more perms. Also, technically, I think only little kids and streetwalkers are entitled to wear red shoes.

I think the only thing that could make Boohbah scarier is to add the song "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy to the intro. Oh wait, someone's already done that for us on YouTube:

How to Make Dinner While Caring for a Cranky Baby

1. Set baby in his chair.
2. Give baby his toy.
3. Turn around and start unloading the dishwasher.
4. Turn back around and pick up the baby toy from the ground.
5. Wash the dirty toy.
6. Give the toy back to baby.
7. Turn around and start unloading the dishwasher.
8. Turn around again and pick the toy up off the ground again.
9. Give the dirty toy to baby.
10. Ask baby to shhhh and tell baby you're trying to cook a delicious dinner.
11. Let the dogs out.
12. Start unloading the dishwasher.
13. Give the baby his pacifier.
14. Let the dogs back in.
15. Push the dogs back outside.
16. Go get a towel to dry off their muddy paws (it is raining outside, you doofus).
17. Pick the pacifier up from the floor and wash it off.
18. Give the pacifier back to baby.
19. Open the door to let the dogs in.
20. Where are the dogs?
21. Go outside to herd the dogs in toward the door.
22. Make funny faces at baby through the kitchen window so that he stops crying.
23. Dry off the dogs' feet.
24. Let the dogs inside.
25. Pick the pacifier and the toy up from the ground and place on counter top next to sink for future washing.
26. Start unloading the dishwasher.
27. Remind the dogs that no matter how much they beg, they will not be going outside again for a while.
28. Remember that you need to boil water to cook the pasta.
29. Get a pot out and fill with water.
30. Put the pot on the stove.
31. Make silly faces at the baby so that he stops cranking for a little while.
32. Realize that the song "Pump up the Jam" by Technotronic has come on the Music Choice Channel on the TV.
33. Consider walking over to shut the TV off but then change your mind because it's already taken you 20 minutes to unload the dishwasher and you just can't waste that kind of time.
34. Begin loading dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
35. Begin dancing around the kitchen like a nut because the baby thinks this is funny and stops crying for it.
36. Wonder what the heck they're singing about in this song. Are they saying "Oh I...a place to stay"? Oooh...remember the song "Pump Up the Volume"...also a mega dance hit from the 90s...it seems they were trying to pump everything up back then...but I digress.
37. Wonder why the water in the pot on the stove isn't boiling.
38. Check the stove to find out that the burner is still in the off position. A cold pot never boils.
39. Bust out a few more moves because the baby is fussing.

Remarkably, I did get the dinner cooked, the baby fed, the dogs fed, and myself fed. Ah....

Duncan's Snack

Wow. I'm so smart. I finally figured out how to add video to this thing!

Make sure you turn up the sound before you play it. The sound is unbelievable.

Anyway, I got out Duncan's bigger car seat just to try it out, and while he was sitting in it, he decided to have a snack. I guess I don't feed him enough.


We're going on a trip to Connecticut on Thursday to visit Daryl's aunt and uncle. With Duncan. Who is 6 months old. Are we adventurous or just insane? Hm....I'll let you know when we get back. I am really looking forward to getting out of the house for a little while though. We might even stop at Niagara Falls on the way back. That's a lot of water right there, eh? Can you tell that I'm practicing to be part Canadian while we drive through Canada? How aboot now?

Can I tell you a little bit more about the car seat while I wait for this video to load up? Okay. Well, it has a 4 position headrest with a removable pillow, a DELUXE infant body insert, and EPP Energy Absorbing Foam (whatever that is). It also has 3 travel stages and a 2 position seat recline. The instruction book is 54 pages long. I'm going to need to block out the better part of my day tomorrow just to figure the whole thing out. What do the people who can hardly read do? Just guess and hope that their baby's safe? There are about 40 different things to adjust and fidget with. It may actually be easier to change the oil in my car than to install this car seat.

Emails and Snow Plows

I currently have 1,111 emails in my inbox. Oh, I know what you're thinking. Why don't you delete your emails? I do. I swear. I delete some of them. The ones that I get from companies or people that I don't know, I delete. But the rest, I guess I always think...maybe one day I'll need to look at this again. Or, if I get lonely, then I can look and see how many people have written me emails and see that people really do love me. It's heartwarming to look in your inbox and see that you have 1,111 emails. It really is.

Onto the next topic. The snow plow. I thought snow plows were suppose to be helpful. Turns out that they only care about the street and they don't care about your driveway at all. Or Daryl's back. Daryl almost broke his back shoveling this big ol' pile of snow out of the bottom of the driveway. Thanks a lot, snow plow. Hope we don't have to see you until next stupid winter and hopefully by then I'll be living in a warmer climate year round. Or, my tunnel down the Earth's molten core might be complete by then. Either that or I'm going to build a Florida sun room in my basement. There will be those full spectrum light bulbs all around and I'll put a kiddie pool in there and some plants. I would like to buy a palm tree, but I think they are very expensive. Maybe I'll get rich and then I can have palms trees plus an indoor waterfall. You know what else I'll need for my basement Florida room? A full sized swimming pool. Maybe it can be a cross between an Infinity pool and an endless pool. There is a difference between an endless pool and an infinity pool...if you don't know, please educate yourself on the finer things in life including pools that I'll never really own.

Here are some pictures of my basement Florida room (to be completed for next winter):

Pretty nice view for a basement, huh?




















Here I am swimming (in my mind) in the basement Florida room.


























Here are the lovely floral arrangements that you will see if you turn around and look the other way in my Florida room basement. Those people in the background are tourists. Yes, I get tourists in my basement every now and again. I charge admission. It all works out.

What Beautiful Blue Teeth You Have

Okay. I want to see a picture of this guy. Seriously. What the? How do they do this kind of stuff and who even thinks it up. Don't forget to brush your teeth...I mean eye....I mean...


DUBLIN (AFP) - An Irishman blinded by an explosion two years ago has had his sight restored after doctors inserted his son's tooth in his eye, he said on Wednesday.


Bob McNichol, 57, from County Mayo in the west of the country, lost his sight in a freak accident when red-hot liquid aluminium exploded at a re-cycling business in November 2005.

"I thought that I was going to be blind for the rest of my life," McNichol told RTE state radio.

After doctors in Ireland said there was nothing more they could do, McNichol heard about a miracle operation called Osteo-Odonto-Keratoprosthesis (OOKP) being performed by Dr Christopher Liu at the Sussex Eye Hospital in Brighton in England.

The technique, pioneered in Italy in the 1960s, involves creating a support for an artificial cornea from the patient's own tooth and the surrounding bone.

The procedure used on McNichol involved his son Robert, 23, donating a tooth, its root and part of the jaw.

McNichol's right eye socket was rebuilt, part of the tooth inserted and a lens inserted in a hole drilled in the tooth.

The first operation lasted ten hours and the second five hours.

"It is pretty heavy going," McNichol said. "There was a 65 percent chance of me getting any sight.

"Now I have enough sight for me to get around and I can watch television. I have come out from complete darkness to be able to do simple things," McNichol said.

My Space for Dogs?

Visit my family

Join the Dogster community

I must be bored because I just joined Dogster, and I can't say that I really see the point of it, but oh well. I think they are going to send me some free Febreeze junk to make my house smell better, which is worth something. As Brian of Mexico fame would say, "What do I get for free????" Febreeze, apparently.